I Have Random Thoughts

How could I ever be really happy? There are many things that can give momentary joy and some of those things even come consistently. But how could be content with being alive when the world isn't how i want it to be, people aren't how i want them to be, and even I am not who I want to be. I can say to myself over and over that i accept things are the way that they are and that im grateful for what i have but it's not actually true. I could never accept that, because accepting that means giving up on what i want, and what else matters besides that? And it doesn't matter how i can rationally understand that I am fortunate to have the things i have, I can't help but take them for granted. I don't abuse what I have, I'm numb to it. For all i know this could be the happiest my life gets and I still feel empty and unsatisfied with my life. And how could I ever change that when no matter what I have it's never enough. And if i somehow learned to not want anything then I might as well be dead then shouldn't I?

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

SW-User

I currently don't feel want for things in general. Yea, I do wonder why I don't just die. I agree with that part.

There's a chance a few such people as you want them exist. It'd be a shame if they do, and they're also looking for someone like you, yet you're gone already. Statistically speaking, at least, some should exist..unless you mean something unnatural, idk.

I feel the same as how you describe in the first part as well. Nothing is how I want it to be. I guess you just have to work to separate yourself and build your own world then, if you can. One way many try to accomplish this is financial independence. Then, you aren't stuck in the 'system' of things.. so..if you have any motivation, these are what I'd suggest to go for.

mic11225 · 26-30, M

@Nugget: There's no denying financial independence would help in getting things i want, but I feel as though even if i achieved what I wanted there would still be more things I want and I would just take those things I achieved for granted. I feel it is a fundamental problem with how my mind works.

SW-User

@mic11225: you take things for granted? Then suffer. Go be with or see those who have nothing you do.

SW-User

@mic11225: also, you can keep working toward things. That'd be good.

mic11225 · 26-30, M

@Nugget: I think you're right. I need to be reminded why I have it so good

SW-User

@mic11225: I might, too. Good luck to you ☘️🍀🕊

mic11225 · 26-30, M

@Nugget: well thanks for your comments. They've helped me actually.