I currently don't feel want for things in general. Yea, I do wonder why I don't just die. I agree with that part.

There's a chance a few such people as you want them exist. It'd be a shame if they do, and they're also looking for someone like you, yet you're gone already. Statistically speaking, at least, some should exist..unless you mean something unnatural, idk.

I feel the same as how you describe in the first part as well. Nothing is how I want it to be. I guess you just have to work to separate yourself and build your own world then, if you can. One way many try to accomplish this is financial independence. Then, you aren't stuck in the 'system' of things.. so..if you have any motivation, these are what I'd suggest to go for.