My boss handed out Valentine apples today.

Apple i mean.. dipped in caramel. Then chocolate, then white chocolate, and then crushed heath bar rubble.

Ma'am That is a weaponized sugar orb.


Calling that “an apple” is the same philosophy as calling lasagna a salad because there’s tomato in it.

Death by apple, apparently.
RIP to your jaw, your blood sugar, and any illusion of moderation.