This response on reddit is too epic to not share.
Someone asked: Do Democrats understand that they will lose any civil war they start with Republicans?
The epic response:
Do Democrats understand that they will lose any civil war they start with Republicans?
I'm not a Democrat, but I'll feel free to answer this.
Well, first of all, war over what? You want to take the South and secede from the Union? I'll fucking drive you to the Mason-Dixon line. I'll rent you a limo. Take the whole fucking thing, from Texas to the East Coast and from the Mason-Dixon line South. Don't want it. It's a drag on our economy anyway, and it just prevents both sides from getting anything they want. Just go. Don't let Iowa hit you in the ass on the way out.
And if you really want a war, I don't think you've thought this through. Most of the educated people, aside from business majors, are liberals. Your scientists, doctors, chemical engineers, physicists. You may have a bunch of pea-shooter rifles, we'll have tactical nuclear weapons.
We've seen you. The bulk of you can't run from McDonald's to Burger King if they were on the same block and you were on fire. You lose three quarters of your potential force right there.
Battles aren't won by rifles and shooting ranges. They are won by tactics and strategy, by educated officers far from the front line. In other words, intelligent people. Last I checked, the old red hat districts weren't doing well in the education department. That means you're not exactly creating a bunch of Generals. Hell, I've heard your Privates aren't up to standard either.
Before you go making threats, you might want to think things through. California would be the world's 5th largest nation itself if it were an independent nation. It's absolutely loaded with STEM schools, tech firms, scientists, and people with big salaries that pay lots of federal taxes that fund that Interstate highway that runs through the flyover states. It's the states like New York, California and Minnesota that pay more in federal taxes than they receive in funding that allow a bunch of those Bible Belt states, who receive more dollars than they pay in, to function like an actual society. Are Alabama and Mississippi and Louisiana going to start paying for the healthcare of all of their own poor people? Or will they just be allowed to die? Is Texas going to fund the entire national defense of the Confederacy? Because as soon as that big beautiful wall goes up along the southern border of Union (we have to protect our borders, you know) all of that tourism to Florida stops, and Disney packs up their shit and leaves.
My advice to you is to carefully consider what you want. If you want to live in a dictatorship where Trump's corpse runs your nation for the next 50 years with JD Vance animating him with a stick up his ass under the desk, you're welcome to it. Turn Mar-a-Lardo into the Whites Only House. Close down all of the universities and reopen them as Jesus camps and churches. Have laissez-faire capitalism run amok, with your Senate composed of CEOs from major corporations: The Senator from Jack Daniels, the Senator from Big Tobacco, the Senator from Anhueser-Busch. Since Trump Country really despises the education department, you can just educate your own children in your house, I'm sure you'll do a great job. Forget all of that liberal crap they don't need, like science, mathematics, spelling, grammar, world history, geography. You can train ’em up on the Bible (the parts you like, not that hippie Jesus peace and love crap), teach the boys hunt’n and fish’n and the girls to cook and clean, just like it was in the good ole days, the 1800’s, when white people didn't have to work, raaaght? Stop wasting money on libraries and food shelves and mental health care.
If that's what you want, no war is necessary. Just take your Confederacy and go. As far as I'm concerned, it already is that way, because I refuse to enter that region of the United States in the first place. If my boss calls and asks if I want to go to a conference in Tennessee, my answer is that I'm very busy, I have an appointment to be the middle tier of a man pyramid at Abu Ghraib prison all next week, and I just can't rearrange my schedule.
You'll also be taking your portion of the national debt, which means all of the money added to it during all of the Republican administrations. That's going to be rough. Frankly you should be made to take a bunch of the debt from the Democrat Administrations too, because they always have to fix the economy that was destroyed by the country bumpkins you elected, ala the 2009 housing collapse that was engineered by George W. Bush.
Just remember, don't call us when you're out of Confederate Freedom Rubles. There won't be anymore FEMA to come and put together a Southern state after a hurricane, which are only increasing in size and intensity because you believe “global warmin’ is a hoax". Don't call us when the Texas power grid fails, again. Don't call us when tornadoes rip through Oklahoma, you didn't see a need for NOAA. Don't call us when poverty rates skyrocket because you educate your children in the basement of churches, they have no skills, and major corporations leave in droves.
You don't believe in foreign assistance, and we'll be happy not to give it, at least not to you.
The epic response:
Do Democrats understand that they will lose any civil war they start with Republicans?
I'm not a Democrat, but I'll feel free to answer this.
Well, first of all, war over what? You want to take the South and secede from the Union? I'll fucking drive you to the Mason-Dixon line. I'll rent you a limo. Take the whole fucking thing, from Texas to the East Coast and from the Mason-Dixon line South. Don't want it. It's a drag on our economy anyway, and it just prevents both sides from getting anything they want. Just go. Don't let Iowa hit you in the ass on the way out.
And if you really want a war, I don't think you've thought this through. Most of the educated people, aside from business majors, are liberals. Your scientists, doctors, chemical engineers, physicists. You may have a bunch of pea-shooter rifles, we'll have tactical nuclear weapons.
We've seen you. The bulk of you can't run from McDonald's to Burger King if they were on the same block and you were on fire. You lose three quarters of your potential force right there.
Battles aren't won by rifles and shooting ranges. They are won by tactics and strategy, by educated officers far from the front line. In other words, intelligent people. Last I checked, the old red hat districts weren't doing well in the education department. That means you're not exactly creating a bunch of Generals. Hell, I've heard your Privates aren't up to standard either.
Before you go making threats, you might want to think things through. California would be the world's 5th largest nation itself if it were an independent nation. It's absolutely loaded with STEM schools, tech firms, scientists, and people with big salaries that pay lots of federal taxes that fund that Interstate highway that runs through the flyover states. It's the states like New York, California and Minnesota that pay more in federal taxes than they receive in funding that allow a bunch of those Bible Belt states, who receive more dollars than they pay in, to function like an actual society. Are Alabama and Mississippi and Louisiana going to start paying for the healthcare of all of their own poor people? Or will they just be allowed to die? Is Texas going to fund the entire national defense of the Confederacy? Because as soon as that big beautiful wall goes up along the southern border of Union (we have to protect our borders, you know) all of that tourism to Florida stops, and Disney packs up their shit and leaves.
My advice to you is to carefully consider what you want. If you want to live in a dictatorship where Trump's corpse runs your nation for the next 50 years with JD Vance animating him with a stick up his ass under the desk, you're welcome to it. Turn Mar-a-Lardo into the Whites Only House. Close down all of the universities and reopen them as Jesus camps and churches. Have laissez-faire capitalism run amok, with your Senate composed of CEOs from major corporations: The Senator from Jack Daniels, the Senator from Big Tobacco, the Senator from Anhueser-Busch. Since Trump Country really despises the education department, you can just educate your own children in your house, I'm sure you'll do a great job. Forget all of that liberal crap they don't need, like science, mathematics, spelling, grammar, world history, geography. You can train ’em up on the Bible (the parts you like, not that hippie Jesus peace and love crap), teach the boys hunt’n and fish’n and the girls to cook and clean, just like it was in the good ole days, the 1800’s, when white people didn't have to work, raaaght? Stop wasting money on libraries and food shelves and mental health care.
If that's what you want, no war is necessary. Just take your Confederacy and go. As far as I'm concerned, it already is that way, because I refuse to enter that region of the United States in the first place. If my boss calls and asks if I want to go to a conference in Tennessee, my answer is that I'm very busy, I have an appointment to be the middle tier of a man pyramid at Abu Ghraib prison all next week, and I just can't rearrange my schedule.
You'll also be taking your portion of the national debt, which means all of the money added to it during all of the Republican administrations. That's going to be rough. Frankly you should be made to take a bunch of the debt from the Democrat Administrations too, because they always have to fix the economy that was destroyed by the country bumpkins you elected, ala the 2009 housing collapse that was engineered by George W. Bush.
Just remember, don't call us when you're out of Confederate Freedom Rubles. There won't be anymore FEMA to come and put together a Southern state after a hurricane, which are only increasing in size and intensity because you believe “global warmin’ is a hoax". Don't call us when the Texas power grid fails, again. Don't call us when tornadoes rip through Oklahoma, you didn't see a need for NOAA. Don't call us when poverty rates skyrocket because you educate your children in the basement of churches, they have no skills, and major corporations leave in droves.
You don't believe in foreign assistance, and we'll be happy not to give it, at least not to you.
36-40, F
