me: so tired. need sleep. shut up brain

brain: ok. I'll be quiet,.. do you need go bathroom? drink water?

me: NO!

brain..

me..

brain: ya know if you could throw a rock into a big body of water, probably be like last person to touch that rock, like ever?

Me: 😳

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MrSmooTh · 31-35, M

Or..
Me: Ok Im ready to go to sleep.
Brain: Ok, but remember that time in 4th grade where the whole class laughed at you?
Me:*cringes* Yeah but what does that matter now?
Brain: You're single in your 30s. You could die alone.
Me: holy shit.
Brain: Also when is the last time you saw your social security card?
Me: 😳