Never thought this happens [I Want To Write My Random Thoughts And Feelings]

I made lot of changes after whatever sh!t happened in my life. Got masters degree..good job and dream car.. but made a huge mistake getting into relationship. I lost my self completely. I’m living in a an emotional blackmail relationship..she won’t let me go. Now I can’t even speak properly with my dearest friends properly. She needs attention. I ask her to end the relationship she will do emotional blackmail. I am not even able to work properly. When I woke up in the morning my first thought is “hope this day goes smooth and she won’t control me over anything or we don’t have fights and I can do my best in everything.when she hugs or kiss me I feel like my body is taken by somewhere forcefully.. now only thing I can do is to pray to god to end this soon. 😔