I Want To Write My Random Thoughts And Feelings

i do not think i am cut out for this. i think i am not smart enough to stay in this school but i will be waiting until finals to see if my grades are in line with my thinking.

i don't mind not passing but i am afraid of disappointing my parents, ya know? like they spent so much: they rented a place just so i could be close to school, the tuition fee and the books are so expensive. i study and do what i can but it doesn't feel like it's enough, plus i am so very exhausted. i am not happy and i want to die

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DragonFruit · 70-79, M

You are smart enough, even if you’re not catching on quickly.
I think ]@Kindheartedguy] had a good suggestion....get someone to help you out until it becomes more natural for you to think that way....don’t just fight yourself and give up.
Don’t worry about disappointing your parents as much as letting yourself down. If you do your best, and still can’t succeed, so be it....but don’t leave without giving it your best.

Dewms

@DragonFruit hi dragoat.
"but don’t leave without giving it your best." sums up what i feel about this whole thing. Like obvs im still gonna study hard even when it's exhausting so if i ever fail, it wont be because i didnt try hard enough. I'm just really afraid of being a disappointment but is it worth the misery im facing 😣

There are so much to study with so little time and i am super stressed and burned out now and midterms are near. Im thinking about the next four years being like this and i think i might go crazy

DragonFruit · 70-79, M

@Dewms If the next four years are like that, you’re not meant to do it. It takes some adjustment in thinking, but if you can’t adapt to that it isn’t for you. That being said, it takes longer for some people to adapt their thinking than it does for others. Do your best....that’s all you can do. Try not to overthink it and worry about it too much. 🤗

Dewms

@DragonFruit 😭
Okay dragoat
The worrying gets to me so much especially when i have no time to relax or do what i want. I think youre right that i havent adjusted yet. I havent stopped being overwhelmed with the study load they gave us and its only like what, a fuckin month!!!! 😶

My friend said that the stress we're experiencing will eventually make us numb to it. Lol

Dewms

@DragonFruit thank you for listening to my rant lol i never have time to let it all out cuz i just end up crying lol

DragonFruit · 70-79, M

@Dewms No need to thank me....that’s what friends are for. You have listened to me when I was down, and it’s only right that I return the favor for a good friend. ❤️ 🤗