I Have Random Thoughts
...and they lived happily ever after.
How many times did we hear, read, say those words? Most of us have grown up with fairy tales about valiant princes and delicate princesses, mean dragons and evil witches. I wonder who came up with the idea of raising children with such skewed views of reality. We are led to believe that once a boy and a girl are married, they will have a lot of children and live happily ever after. But the reality is that happily ever after doesn't just happen. We need to make our own happily ever after happen. The reality is that marriage is hard work, and it takes two to make it work. Reality is that marriage is about compromise, about forgiving, about giving and mostly it is about sharing. If we want a chance at happily ever after, we need to open ourselves up, share our thoughts, our feelings, our fears, our hopes. It's a place we need to go to give not just to take, and there have to be two people willing to give.
The secret to happily ever after lies in giving and in sharing. Each spouse should be willing to give the other love, tenderness, passion, compassion, understanding and comfort. We need to know our marriage is a place where we will not be judged, where we can truly be ourselves, a place where we can communicate our feelings, a place of fun and laughter and companionship, a place where neither needs to get his way every single time, where each cares about the other's happiness and well being even more than about their own. Marriage should be a partnership, not a battleground, a place of comfort not a source of frustration.
Because, if marriage isn't those things, it is closer to hell on Earth than it is to happily ever after. Because being alone is ultimately better than being in a relationship that leaves you drained, frustrated, stifled, sad. Because marriage should never be two solitudes leading parallel lives...
(Something I had originally posted on EP of which I was reminded during an exchange with a friend)
How many times did we hear, read, say those words? Most of us have grown up with fairy tales about valiant princes and delicate princesses, mean dragons and evil witches. I wonder who came up with the idea of raising children with such skewed views of reality. We are led to believe that once a boy and a girl are married, they will have a lot of children and live happily ever after. But the reality is that happily ever after doesn't just happen. We need to make our own happily ever after happen. The reality is that marriage is hard work, and it takes two to make it work. Reality is that marriage is about compromise, about forgiving, about giving and mostly it is about sharing. If we want a chance at happily ever after, we need to open ourselves up, share our thoughts, our feelings, our fears, our hopes. It's a place we need to go to give not just to take, and there have to be two people willing to give.
The secret to happily ever after lies in giving and in sharing. Each spouse should be willing to give the other love, tenderness, passion, compassion, understanding and comfort. We need to know our marriage is a place where we will not be judged, where we can truly be ourselves, a place where we can communicate our feelings, a place of fun and laughter and companionship, a place where neither needs to get his way every single time, where each cares about the other's happiness and well being even more than about their own. Marriage should be a partnership, not a battleground, a place of comfort not a source of frustration.
Because, if marriage isn't those things, it is closer to hell on Earth than it is to happily ever after. Because being alone is ultimately better than being in a relationship that leaves you drained, frustrated, stifled, sad. Because marriage should never be two solitudes leading parallel lives...
(Something I had originally posted on EP of which I was reminded during an exchange with a friend)
