I Want To Write My Random Thoughts And Feelings

I’m so sick of hating myself. I want to eat without feeling guilty. I want to go for a run without calculating how many calories I’m burning while doing it. I want to throw away my scale.
But I am a hypocrite. I will not do any of these things because the satisfaction of losing weight is a much more addictive drug than the rational part of my brain cares to consider. I get high on the thoughts of having a size zero be baggy. More than anything, I want to be thin.

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LILREBELDOM69VAMP69 · 46-50, M

It's willpower and determination I used to be 220 lb now I'm down to 142 lb

stillturningout · 22-25, F

@LILREBELDOM69VAMP69 I just got out of the hospital for anorexia. Good for you but not all weight loss is healthy.

LILREBELDOM69VAMP69 · 46-50, M

@stillturningout that's true and neither is anorexia. I used to eat and make myself throw up all the time then I realized I was doing more harm to my body because if you don't have nothing in your system for your body to burn off all it does is eats itself and whatever fat is stored in the body

stillturningout · 22-25, F

@LILREBELDOM69VAMP69 Yeah, that was kind of the goal of my eating disorder.

LILREBELDOM69VAMP69 · 46-50, M

It's not a realistic goal I promise you that.

stillturningout · 22-25, F

@LILREBELDOM69VAMP69 It’s realistic, just not sustainable.

LILREBELDOM69VAMP69 · 46-50, M

@stillturningout well I believe in you and I know you could be sustainable in a positive way you're very beautiful

stillturningout · 22-25, F

@LILREBELDOM69VAMP69 Thank you. I’m trying to recover.

LILREBELDOM69VAMP69 · 46-50, M

@stillturningout ur goin 2 recover n be AWESOME AT IT I believe in you and I'm here for you