I Want To Write My Random Thoughts And Feelings
I don't often take responsibility, but I'm no stranger to it. I'm aware when something so obviously falls in my own hands, when I'm so clumsily tripping over my own feet. Despite that, I don't constantly participate in the art of self-blame.
Some people are too quick to blame the fickleness of this world on themselves, and some people aren't quick enough. Maybe I'm somewhere in between there, and maybe my future is damned in the hands of me - and that's just fine. I rather burn in the blaze of bad decisions, than to have someone make them for me. Than to be indecisive and never moving, but either way I'm burning. There's really no winning when it comes to these things.
I should just get out of my own way already and do something about something so I can get these metaphorical wheels moving. I got so accustomed to letting things come to me, that's how it always worked somehow through my skills of finesse and charm and no hard work was ever done.
Just gliding through on lies and crocodile tears, fully exploiting the help of others without really lifting a finger myself.
But now I've gotten to a point, where I ask myself why? I don't fear failure, I don't care for what success yields. I don't like the idea of life, and I very much so feel like a dog on a leash despite roaming so far and beyond with my habit of ignoring possible consequences.
And I'm to blame because it's always been in my hands, and I waste everyone's time. But people have time to be wasted, so oh well.
Really oh well, "oh well" is all I can give out to the universe and what not.
I'll figure it out, I usually do but that doesn't stop me from talking about my obstacles like they'll be forever. It's the influence of the human condition.
At this point maybe this whole thing is an excuse I'm telling myself in another form of denial.
Well, I can never really tell.
Some people are too quick to blame the fickleness of this world on themselves, and some people aren't quick enough. Maybe I'm somewhere in between there, and maybe my future is damned in the hands of me - and that's just fine. I rather burn in the blaze of bad decisions, than to have someone make them for me. Than to be indecisive and never moving, but either way I'm burning. There's really no winning when it comes to these things.
I should just get out of my own way already and do something about something so I can get these metaphorical wheels moving. I got so accustomed to letting things come to me, that's how it always worked somehow through my skills of finesse and charm and no hard work was ever done.
Just gliding through on lies and crocodile tears, fully exploiting the help of others without really lifting a finger myself.
But now I've gotten to a point, where I ask myself why? I don't fear failure, I don't care for what success yields. I don't like the idea of life, and I very much so feel like a dog on a leash despite roaming so far and beyond with my habit of ignoring possible consequences.
And I'm to blame because it's always been in my hands, and I waste everyone's time. But people have time to be wasted, so oh well.
Really oh well, "oh well" is all I can give out to the universe and what not.
I'll figure it out, I usually do but that doesn't stop me from talking about my obstacles like they'll be forever. It's the influence of the human condition.
At this point maybe this whole thing is an excuse I'm telling myself in another form of denial.
Well, I can never really tell.
22-25, F
