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I Want To Write My Random Thoughts And Feelings

The worst part of sleepless nights is that I always start thinking about shit I really don't want to think about.

I used to be a really ugly kid, and when you grow up in a tiny community where everyone knows everyone, being one of the ugliest girls in class leaves a mark in social situations.
So when I got 16, I packed my bags and moved away to a bigger city, working my hardest to become pretty and succeeded enough, I think.

But then, years later, I was invited to this huge party a few towns away. It was pretty fun, until I noticed that some of my earlier classmates were there.

I spent the rest of the night with a loop of "what do they think?", "are they looking at me?", and "does he think I'm hot?" running through my head. I hate that I turned into that. Like some weird caricature of a teen girl drama villain.
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GeistInTheMachine · 31-35, M
I know that feeling well.

That's why I try to fall asleep listening to something relaxing, or distracting.

It keeps some of that shit at bay.