I Have Random Thoughts
An open letter to my father.
Dear daddy,
Do you still remember when you come home with something for me? Do you still remember how happy i am every time you brought some ice cream? Do you still remember when i tried to lose my shoes so that you can buy me a new one? Do you still remember the lullaby you used to sing for me to fall asleep? I had only few memories with you dad... And i still cherish it because that's the only memories we had. Do you know how much i miss you? Every single day of my life, i think of you. I want to hate you for not being there when i needed you most. I've been in hell for so long... I even think of taking my life. But you know what? i survived even you are not there. But it still hurts me every time i saw a father and daughter looking so happy. A father that protects his daughter, a father who spoil her, a father who were there in her ups and down. A father who you can talk to anything about life, about schools, about love life. I wish i had a father like them. But you weren't like them dad... Because you were in jail. It's been 19 years but honestly I'm still not getting used to it. I want to see you, but i don't have a courage to visit you because I'm afraid that i won't be able to stand it. It will just broke my heart over and over. I wish that you are doing well. Don't worry about me, I'm a grown up woman now and I'm living well. I miss you so much dad... And I love you.
-Your sunshine
Dear daddy,
Do you still remember when you come home with something for me? Do you still remember how happy i am every time you brought some ice cream? Do you still remember when i tried to lose my shoes so that you can buy me a new one? Do you still remember the lullaby you used to sing for me to fall asleep? I had only few memories with you dad... And i still cherish it because that's the only memories we had. Do you know how much i miss you? Every single day of my life, i think of you. I want to hate you for not being there when i needed you most. I've been in hell for so long... I even think of taking my life. But you know what? i survived even you are not there. But it still hurts me every time i saw a father and daughter looking so happy. A father that protects his daughter, a father who spoil her, a father who were there in her ups and down. A father who you can talk to anything about life, about schools, about love life. I wish i had a father like them. But you weren't like them dad... Because you were in jail. It's been 19 years but honestly I'm still not getting used to it. I want to see you, but i don't have a courage to visit you because I'm afraid that i won't be able to stand it. It will just broke my heart over and over. I wish that you are doing well. Don't worry about me, I'm a grown up woman now and I'm living well. I miss you so much dad... And I love you.
-Your sunshine
26-30, F
