I Have Random Thoughts

I don't know where to post this, so I'll just put it here. I used to consider myself an atheist. When my wife was diagnosed with stage-four cancer, I found myself occasionally praying, just like I did when I was little. I still do it. I guess I'm just desperate for my wife to make it through this. I feel like I'm talking to myself when I pray, but I remember how believing in God as a child helped me through some hard times. I've only told one person about this. It feels wrong in a way. "Yes, God, although I've been talking shit behind your back for all these years, I have a problem now, and I'm expecting you to fix it." Anyhow, I just wanted to share this. I don't know why.