I Have Random Thoughts
[c=#BF0080]I used to be a very religious Christian. In middle school I was suicidal from being bullied but still believed in God. In high school I finally made friends but I was depressed from past trauma.
I used to write letters to God almost every night begging him to help me. Of course I did my part and tried being as sociable and uplifting as possible, but this only made people think I was weird. I became extremely suicidal.
Then in College I fell head over heels for this guy and since he kept giving my mixed signals and we never spoke I became more suicidal and had numerous suicide attempts. I think about him often and I get upset because I'm afraid I'll never feel that way about anyone again.
Right now I don't really have many "friends" more like associates. I'm still waiting for my time to shine so I can feel good again. I'm not saying I'll gain any faith in God, but maybe faith in myself.[/c]
I used to write letters to God almost every night begging him to help me. Of course I did my part and tried being as sociable and uplifting as possible, but this only made people think I was weird. I became extremely suicidal.
Then in College I fell head over heels for this guy and since he kept giving my mixed signals and we never spoke I became more suicidal and had numerous suicide attempts. I think about him often and I get upset because I'm afraid I'll never feel that way about anyone again.
Right now I don't really have many "friends" more like associates. I'm still waiting for my time to shine so I can feel good again. I'm not saying I'll gain any faith in God, but maybe faith in myself.[/c]
26-30, F
