I Want To Write My Random Thoughts And Feelings
Recent events within my life have shown me that the only person who can know my strengths, and the only person who actually knows what I'm about and can put me on the right path in this life, is me - and me alone.
When we're unsure of where to go in life, and when we're unsure of ourselves in general, we will have well-meaning, well-intentioned people around us trying to create and direct our lives for us, in some sense. They will offer their advice and their suggestions, and they may even recommend opportunities that they believe (and we believe) can help us in life.
But in reality, the only person who knows what's truly best for you is yourself. It sounds obvious to say, and not particularly profound. It sounds like the kind of thing we should all automatically know and be aware of. But we take obvious things for granted, I find. Just because we know something doesn't mean we actually understand it on a deep visceral level. And often, just because we say we understand something, doesn't mean we do. Very rarely does thought align with action, and action with behaviour...
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So far in my life, 90% of my overall decision-making has been somewhat influenced by other people's input. I've always been aware of this as it was happening, and I actually didn't care too much for some reason. I wasn't generating any ideas of my own, so I was indifferent enough to indulge other people's suggestions and experiment with their ideas. But because their ideas were never my ideas, they always revealed themselves to be exactly what they were all along: not me. They felt off every time.
So the thing I've learnt recently, is that I only ever feel 100% myself when I'm doing the things that come most naturally to me, and the things I know I'm genuinely good at. And these are things that only I'm aware of. I don't actively go out of my way to sell myself as a person for people to admire and glorify. I basically just keep myself to myself. I've always done this.
When we're unsure of where to go in life, and when we're unsure of ourselves in general, we will have well-meaning, well-intentioned people around us trying to create and direct our lives for us, in some sense. They will offer their advice and their suggestions, and they may even recommend opportunities that they believe (and we believe) can help us in life.
But in reality, the only person who knows what's truly best for you is yourself. It sounds obvious to say, and not particularly profound. It sounds like the kind of thing we should all automatically know and be aware of. But we take obvious things for granted, I find. Just because we know something doesn't mean we actually understand it on a deep visceral level. And often, just because we say we understand something, doesn't mean we do. Very rarely does thought align with action, and action with behaviour...
-
So far in my life, 90% of my overall decision-making has been somewhat influenced by other people's input. I've always been aware of this as it was happening, and I actually didn't care too much for some reason. I wasn't generating any ideas of my own, so I was indifferent enough to indulge other people's suggestions and experiment with their ideas. But because their ideas were never my ideas, they always revealed themselves to be exactly what they were all along: not me. They felt off every time.
So the thing I've learnt recently, is that I only ever feel 100% myself when I'm doing the things that come most naturally to me, and the things I know I'm genuinely good at. And these are things that only I'm aware of. I don't actively go out of my way to sell myself as a person for people to admire and glorify. I basically just keep myself to myself. I've always done this.
31-35, M
