I Want To Write My Random Thoughts And Feelings
I've recently experienced a total ego loss, and it's absolutely changed everything. It does sound grandiose and maybe overly poetic, but I'm literally not the same person at all. I just feel different... I know I'm different.
I still have a sense of who I am, but I no longer feel that it's anything to defend, strengthen, embellish, or even try to escape from. It still exists, but it's no longer a dominant force within my psyche.
I recently discovered that the parts of ourselves we don't like are actually reflected to us in a variety of interesting ways throughout our life. The things we don't like about others are things we don't like about ourselves...
For example, if I feel that I want others to understand me, and I feel like they can't or don't, it's a reflection of the fact I don't understand myself. If I feel that life is miserable and boring, and I experience the world and other people as miserable and boring, it's only because I see myself as exactly that: miserable and boring. It's a reflection.
Delineating this truth in words cheapens it somewhat, makes it seem like airy-fairy new age jargon. But it really is true. The crazy thing about it is that when you become aware of it it shakes your entire world up completely, even if your logical mind doesn't fully understand it.
I still have a sense of who I am, but I no longer feel that it's anything to defend, strengthen, embellish, or even try to escape from. It still exists, but it's no longer a dominant force within my psyche.
I recently discovered that the parts of ourselves we don't like are actually reflected to us in a variety of interesting ways throughout our life. The things we don't like about others are things we don't like about ourselves...
For example, if I feel that I want others to understand me, and I feel like they can't or don't, it's a reflection of the fact I don't understand myself. If I feel that life is miserable and boring, and I experience the world and other people as miserable and boring, it's only because I see myself as exactly that: miserable and boring. It's a reflection.
Delineating this truth in words cheapens it somewhat, makes it seem like airy-fairy new age jargon. But it really is true. The crazy thing about it is that when you become aware of it it shakes your entire world up completely, even if your logical mind doesn't fully understand it.
31-35, M