Serious question: I am attending therapy because of the abusive relationship

And I happened to notice after the relationship dissolved I do things like sweep the entire house and mop the entire house everyday

I freak out when the house gets disorderly and can’t do anything or function

I’m stressed as fvvk about the laundry not being done

It’s getting borderline compulsive

When I was a child I used to struggle with ocd and I would obsessively turn off switches and click my fingers and stuff. Idk but I’m afraid it’s creeping back

Now that I stopped biting my nails I find myself putting that “nervous” energy in other places

I just don’t really know if cleaning is a problem worth mentioning.

What are your (honest) thoughts? I know there’s a lot of women on this site who have been in abusive relationships. You women never seem to comment tho .. I’m more less specifically asking YOU. The ones who have been through it and survived. Tell me about the pain and suffering after. Nobody talks about it. I feel so alone

I’m genuinely sorry for being so whiney lately this is my only outlet other than therapy that I have. I have never been able to “do” “handle” “process” emotions.

Supernova · F

So sorry you're experiencing this. Be patient and gentle with yourself, you've been through a lot and might cope with the progression away from the abuse in phases that are handled in different ways. That's how it was for me after ending a toxic marriage many years ago. I'm currently struggling through the aftermath of narcissistic abuse. The suffering is crazy making, the trauma bonding is like nothing I could ever imagine. I feel like I'm in a kind of shock that this is actually happening to me. The psychological effects of the abuse is dark and cruel.