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If you’re dating someone who was cheated on, and they constantly act jealous, question you, accuse you then get angry at you for not reassuring them…

Wouldn’t you get sick of it?
Tython · 31-35, M
My wife was like this, actually. We resolved it a long time ago, but the gist of what I said was:

I'm sorry you went through these things. No one deserves that kind of heart break. The best I can do is to give you my word I will never cheat or be unfaithful in any way. I hope you can give me a chance to prove this.

We then had a conversation on what boundaries to set(email and other highly personal things), what to do or say if either of us were feeling insecure or acting on our paranoia, and other things. It was rough at the beginning as we both had habits we needed to check, but in the end she finally trusted me.

This worked for us because we were both able and willing to change for the better of the other. Some people are unwilling or unable to make such changes. For the betterment of both, it's best to end such relationships.
Notsimilar · 31-35, F
Fuck that

Trust is quite important
summersong · F
Okay fuck that shit.
Once burned twice shy it takes years to build trust hv 2 b patience
RebelFox · 36-40, F
@Sydnee He won’t give me a chance at time. He just wants complete control instantly and every slight he feels he goes off on me. I’m exhausted.
@RebelFox difficult won’t work out
Nebula · 41-45, F
Yeah, but I also think.its important for both people to make one another feel secure in the relationship in order to be able to grow together.
Nebula · 41-45, F
@RebelFox no, and not make ypu feel as if you did sometjong wrong when you didnt
RebelFox · 36-40, F
@Nebula that’s what’s eating me up! I feel guilty when I haven’t done anything 😞
Nebula · 41-45, F
@RebelFox Im sorry, thats not fair to you at all
Ambroseguy80 · 56-60, M
I’m already sick of it lol
Peaches · F
That's too bad, 😔 sounds like he hasn't worked through the bitterness and hurt yet. Tell him you both need a break so he can work on himself. Right now he has nothing to give until he can let go of his past. He's becoming toxic to you and his own self.💕💙
SW-User
i'd try to talk to them about it ..
have slow sweet "together time" ..
and if after a few tries they're still that way then .. i'd start getting a bit sick of it
Menetics · 26-30, F
Were you the one who cheated on him/her?
RebelFox · 36-40, F
@Menetics No and I’m not that type. I just wanted him. But he made it impossible.
Menetics · 26-30, F
@RebelFox I’m sorry to hear that. You don’t have to pay for someone’s actions. I would try to understand why he’s acting that way, trauma can make people act like that.
it depends on how into them i am
Yes, that gets old very quickly.
SW-User
That would get old really quick
JestAJester · 31-35, M
They need to hakuna their matatas
Bang5luts · M
But if talk about it and try to help them feel comfortable we've all been through ups and down. When your partner has baggage help them unpack
RebelFox · 36-40, F
@Bang5luts I have tried and tried but I’m not going to call him every five minutes because I’m out with friends where a man might steal me away from him. I deserve trust as much as he deserves reassurance. We don’t meet in the middle about it, he just digs at my existence. He dumps on me so often I don’t have the heart left to believe I can make him happy or safe.
Bang5luts · M
@RebelFox
I didn't know the entire story. I apologize. He probably needs counseling. Either way I'm sorry.
caccoon · 36-40
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iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
Of course it’s tiring. I understand being leery but to accuse and question constantly would be too much.
Lilnonames · F
THey cheat once with me they kicked to the curb, no coming back they be on a lifetime BLOCK
SW-User
I wouldn't tolerate that for long.

 
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