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I Have Something to Say

Overwhelmed by grief.. bitterness.. and a darkening sense of lonliness.

I really really don't know why I think these things. But, they all can rest easy if I leave right now.

She found someone else. So I don't need to stick around any more. And the last flame has been blown out; your last wish.. shall be granted.

There is nobody else out there for me. Not because they aren't compatible with me, nor because they won't love, but because your dying breath breathed life into the chains that bind me to that vow. But in keeping that vow from now.. a life without her.. without you. Holds no meaning. Nothing. I feel empty now. And nothing can re-light this candle.

I have so many accomplices.. but so few friends. And noone that I could trust to even begin to comprehend me.

If you're going to send comments telling me to grow up or kill myself or its not the end of the world.. I've heard them all millions of times. Don't waste your time any more than you have wasted reading all of my trash.
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Findingmeagain71 · 51-55, F
Life isn't always easy and its very rarely fair. You may never love again but you are still here. And the pain may never go away, but it will become a part of who you are as you find a way to keep going. Never give up
For how long? The desire to leave is so strong. I just hate how complicated suicide can be for everyone else.
Giving up on living? I'm pretty close to it. There's just nothing left for me to give.
Findingmeagain71 · 51-55, F
I can definitely see how you could feel like giving up... I think a lot have felt like giving up and some have. I've been knocked down ALOT, in fact I'm down on my ass right now, but I'm in the beginning stages of picking myself back up. Life is hard and sucky some days, but I can't imagine not getting up. Thats not true, last month when I got knocked down I seriously considered not getting up. Cried and cried n cried. But I can't be like that. Nobodys gonna pick me up but me. This place has helped tho. A few kind words go a very long way. And it reminds me I'm not the only one struggling...you are not alone no matter how hopeless and alone you feel.
@Findingmeagain71: Yeah, I know a bit about that. But sometimes when you get knocked down, you stay down not because you're afraid of getting up and facing new challenges, but rather you're just tired and don't feel like standing up again any time soon. It's kind of how I feel right now. But yes, I also agree that there are some very nice people here who help. Or try to anyway, and the sentiment is always appreciated.
Findingmeagain71 · 51-55, F
I know how much some kindness has meant to me the past couple days
Findingmeagain71 · 51-55, F
How are you today?
I'm having a rough one. I know what you mean by sometimes you don't wanna get up because you're tired.
Just as empty. :/ Could barely sleep, haven't eaten anything significant in over 24hrs.