How to be a mom/dad/parent??

It’s fucking hard work. I broke down today because there’s never a time my children don’t argue. It always happens when I’m at my busiest or when I just want a quiet moment to breathe.

About half an hour ago, they were watching YouTube together. The eldest told her sister not to change the video because she wanted to show me something. Of course, the youngest changed it anyway just to get under her skin. The eldest slapped her on the leg and in return, the youngest threw her smoothie. A full glass of it. I screamed then I just broke down.

I’ve been doing everything for them. Every single day from the moment I open my eyes to when I finally close them at night. Today, I spent time cooking and looking for gifts for them and they have no idea. I don’t even know what else I can do to make them happy. I’ve never laid a hand on them because that’s not me. That’s not the kind of mother I want to be.

Sometimes I feel like people think I’m just sitting around doing nothing. But I’m not. This whole thing - adulting, motherhood - it’s not written in any book. You don’t learn it in school. You learn it the moment you give birth. From that day on, it never ends. Even when they grow up and leave the nest, they’ll always have a place to come home to.

I just wish they’d stop fighting, but I doubt that’ll happen anytime soon.

scooogy · 31-35, MVIP

My sister once shouted at my niece for having bitten into the handlebar of her stoller, she was 3 years old back then. The only people I'd shout at are adults trying to harm kids like my niece. But in this case, have you confronted her for throwing the smoothie? I mean she was the one starting this.

Jenny1234 · 56-60, M

It’s the hardest job!!!You’re not alone!. I went through much the same with my kids. I used to sneak into the basement for a few minutes of solitude or sit in my car. Alone.

4meAndyou · F

It's time to sit down with them and have a formal talk sitting at the table. Talk to them about slapping each other and throwing things in particular, and tell them that they HAVE to learn to be kind to each other. I would imagine that you, screaming and breaking down, shocked the hell out of them, so this might be a great time to hammer the lesson home.

Explain to them that life is like school. That if they can't learn this simple lesson, they will be penalized. You might consider taking their videos away from them, or taking away something else...like their internet privileges if they can't or won't improve.