@tacomasr5
Yes, you are so right, there is no formula for loss and the grief one feels.
If I might, however, share what has worked for my family. We belong to an extended military clan and with this profession there is loss of those whose life has ended while still young and vibrant, in the midst of still becoming. As a clan we find ways several times a year to remember them, to celebrate their lives, to honor the good in these men and women, and to be thankful that they have added to both our own heart and character...the capacity to continue to love, to continue to live with purpose.
We choose to remember them as still living. A living spirit that lives within us. A spirit that is a source of strength, a way of being more in this world, a way of connecting with others more deeply. In this way, we find that what was once only grief also becomes a celebration. And while the pangs of grief remain present, over time this is also joined by an ineffable joy.
Be well.