'...TODAY, I learned that the average person consumes NINE (9) alcoholic drinks per week..

Wow, it's true. Well, it's actually 9.5 drinks.

And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but a recent respected study was published indicating the safe amount of alcohol per week is...zero.
https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(18)31310-2/fulltext

Yes, I’ve been above average for years (though I can be below average for months at a time, I always seem to relapse).
I’ve had many days where I’ve consumed 10 or more alcoholic beverages.