I Have Something to Say
Sometimes my dog is smarter than my husband. I swear, it makes me annoyed. I scream common sense! Why are men so stupid sometimes?
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Tatsumi · 31-35, M
Well that's kinda ambiguous, but I'll give it a shot. Women are naturally more socially intelligent. Men are mostly surface level. Less so these days, but men naturally only focus on the surface.
It's the difference between masculine requests and feminine requests.
A masculine request is, "Hey, I want you to do this." Simple. No codex needed.
A feminine request is, "Hey, is that bothering you?" Translation: That's really fucking bothering me, and you'd better get your god damn feet off my sofa.
Women are subtle, and men don't know this on instinct. It takes a lot of practice, study, and extrapolation that we don't naturally do. If you say something, most of us will take it at face value.
So, give your husband a break. You may think you're being obvious, but women are very subtle, even when they're trying not to be--a lot of the time.
It's the difference between masculine requests and feminine requests.
A masculine request is, "Hey, I want you to do this." Simple. No codex needed.
A feminine request is, "Hey, is that bothering you?" Translation: That's really fucking bothering me, and you'd better get your god damn feet off my sofa.
Women are subtle, and men don't know this on instinct. It takes a lot of practice, study, and extrapolation that we don't naturally do. If you say something, most of us will take it at face value.
So, give your husband a break. You may think you're being obvious, but women are very subtle, even when they're trying not to be--a lot of the time.
rckt148 · 61-69, M
@Tatsumi that is stuff taught to you
In my day ,men were men ,women were women
They voted ,they worked ,they managed money
But they had their jobs ,we had ours
I have found the less I act like I care for someone
The harder she tried to please me
It when I mess up ,and say well she has been faithful ,and does all any man could ask ,,so I tell her ,,"I love you ,I would not want to live without you"...Then the tables turn,,,I messed up ..told her "You hooked me "
I won't do it again
And all of my ex's except 1 has asked to come home and you know what I tell them ? I don't do do overs
They seen bad boys are called bad boys for a reason ,,
I am the stable ,protector ,provider ,that won't allow anyone to disrespect my woman .the bad boy wants all the attention on himself ,he is a spoiled brat that thinks he's Gods gift to woman ,,I am just a real man
I don't play games ,and I don't like them played on me
and that is why I am considering letting my last ex come back
She made a mistake ,and it cost both of us ,,but she was good to me
But all decision end with me ,we make plans together
and not even Momma interferes
We work out out own problems
My mistake was not being just a little more jealous
And saying "I can't live without you " that will never happen again
She proved to me I can .and I do very well on my own
It kills her now ,she is not the only woman that wants me
and I tell them all NO
They like a man that is not a lost puppy ,he is a man
She does not need to play games ,she see's what she wants
and she is happy to be his woman
Men have turned into puppies ,,women toy with them
but they all look for a real man
In my day ,men were men ,women were women
They voted ,they worked ,they managed money
But they had their jobs ,we had ours
I have found the less I act like I care for someone
The harder she tried to please me
It when I mess up ,and say well she has been faithful ,and does all any man could ask ,,so I tell her ,,"I love you ,I would not want to live without you"...Then the tables turn,,,I messed up ..told her "You hooked me "
I won't do it again
And all of my ex's except 1 has asked to come home and you know what I tell them ? I don't do do overs
They seen bad boys are called bad boys for a reason ,,
I am the stable ,protector ,provider ,that won't allow anyone to disrespect my woman .the bad boy wants all the attention on himself ,he is a spoiled brat that thinks he's Gods gift to woman ,,I am just a real man
I don't play games ,and I don't like them played on me
and that is why I am considering letting my last ex come back
She made a mistake ,and it cost both of us ,,but she was good to me
But all decision end with me ,we make plans together
and not even Momma interferes
We work out out own problems
My mistake was not being just a little more jealous
And saying "I can't live without you " that will never happen again
She proved to me I can .and I do very well on my own
It kills her now ,she is not the only woman that wants me
and I tell them all NO
They like a man that is not a lost puppy ,he is a man
She does not need to play games ,she see's what she wants
and she is happy to be his woman
Men have turned into puppies ,,women toy with them
but they all look for a real man
Tatsumi · 31-35, M
@rckt148 I completely agree. Women need a strange balance of apathy and affection. If they recieve too much affection or loyalty, it makes them think they got a bad deal. Because why would a man try so hard for one woman? It must be that he is undesirable and needs her, because other women won't want him which means she's with a low value man.
Men are romantics pretending to be pragmatists.
Women are pragmatists pretending to be romantics.
It's unfortunate. Women also function in a more subtle form of "heat". Ovulatory shifts change their desires. One week, they want love and affection. They next week, they want to be bent over and fucked like an animal and called a whore.
But men don't function on a cycle. We're either alpha or beta, meaning women will always be 50% unsatisfied.
If you can spot their shifts, you can adjust your behavior to more caring and compassionate to more apathetic and masculine.
Easier said than done, though.
Men are romantics pretending to be pragmatists.
Women are pragmatists pretending to be romantics.
It's unfortunate. Women also function in a more subtle form of "heat". Ovulatory shifts change their desires. One week, they want love and affection. They next week, they want to be bent over and fucked like an animal and called a whore.
But men don't function on a cycle. We're either alpha or beta, meaning women will always be 50% unsatisfied.
If you can spot their shifts, you can adjust your behavior to more caring and compassionate to more apathetic and masculine.
Easier said than done, though.
rckt148 · 61-69, M
@Tatsumi No offence ,but I think I have a little more experience in this field
I was married at 16 ,supported my wife since I was 14 ,we had our own place ,she never had to work a day that she was with me
but I had bands ,I drank and I was in the Coast Guard after I turned 17 and 7 months later I was on a search and rescue crew ,,we saved lives ,but we also seen things you never forget ,and getting shot at by drug smugglers ,Pablo Escobar trying to blow us up for seizing his boats and drugs
She never knew if I was coming home ,so she asked me to get out
I got another killer job working as a diesel mechanic for a rail road
I loved to work and I loved overtime
She lived in a fine home ,custom van and all the toys a woman could want
but when I was home ,I drank ,and played my music to loud
and band practice ,gigs every weekend ,,she tired of it
The second wife was very happy ,until a doctor said I would be in a wheel chair by the time I was 45 ..at the latest
SO she said "while you can ,go after you're dream to be a rock star ,so I did
She was jealous of a house full of friends all the time ,a non stop party
and I needed more and more pills to do my job ,,building homes all day
playing gigs every weekend ,always on the road ,,she tired of it too
So when my arm became paralyzed from a bone spur a doctor told her I was milking my back surgery ,,I had part of my spine removed in 1990 and still worked harder them most men I know ,,but he said I was an addict ,,maybe he was right ,but I was taking drugs to work so I could keep up the life style I thought she loved (she was also 12 yrs younger )
I paid off a home ,2 cars and supported my habits ,,but it required lots of work
My last Ex would not leave my side for a single day ,,not to visit family ,friends or nothing ,its like she was scared to loose me .that wen't on for 7 1/2 yrs ,,until I made the mistake of saying
"Our love must be a sin ,because I love you more then God "
Now some say God punished me ,,but she changed ,and like I turned on a switch and turned it off again ,,she got cold ,
But now after 8 yrs of me refusing to talk to her
She wants to come back ,,,why do you think that is ?
Because I am the only real man she knows
The little boy she is with likes Xbox and Playstation
While she works nights ,he works days ,and she is so lonely she could die
She knows what she had with me ,,I am good to my women
and I am no longer an addict
She was jealous because I still helped my sons Mom ,,she takes care of my son ,why wouldn't I help her
She gave me an ultimatum after my confession of love
Stop helping my sons Mom or she was gone ,,,I told her to leave
now she wants to come home ,,,but with 2 kids from another man ,,
Now she knows how I felt ,,when you have kids involved
NO one comes before my kids ,no one
Well except a wife that says I do ,and knows my son is part of the package
I was married at 16 ,supported my wife since I was 14 ,we had our own place ,she never had to work a day that she was with me
but I had bands ,I drank and I was in the Coast Guard after I turned 17 and 7 months later I was on a search and rescue crew ,,we saved lives ,but we also seen things you never forget ,and getting shot at by drug smugglers ,Pablo Escobar trying to blow us up for seizing his boats and drugs
She never knew if I was coming home ,so she asked me to get out
I got another killer job working as a diesel mechanic for a rail road
I loved to work and I loved overtime
She lived in a fine home ,custom van and all the toys a woman could want
but when I was home ,I drank ,and played my music to loud
and band practice ,gigs every weekend ,,she tired of it
The second wife was very happy ,until a doctor said I would be in a wheel chair by the time I was 45 ..at the latest
SO she said "while you can ,go after you're dream to be a rock star ,so I did
She was jealous of a house full of friends all the time ,a non stop party
and I needed more and more pills to do my job ,,building homes all day
playing gigs every weekend ,always on the road ,,she tired of it too
So when my arm became paralyzed from a bone spur a doctor told her I was milking my back surgery ,,I had part of my spine removed in 1990 and still worked harder them most men I know ,,but he said I was an addict ,,maybe he was right ,but I was taking drugs to work so I could keep up the life style I thought she loved (she was also 12 yrs younger )
I paid off a home ,2 cars and supported my habits ,,but it required lots of work
My last Ex would not leave my side for a single day ,,not to visit family ,friends or nothing ,its like she was scared to loose me .that wen't on for 7 1/2 yrs ,,until I made the mistake of saying
"Our love must be a sin ,because I love you more then God "
Now some say God punished me ,,but she changed ,and like I turned on a switch and turned it off again ,,she got cold ,
But now after 8 yrs of me refusing to talk to her
She wants to come back ,,,why do you think that is ?
Because I am the only real man she knows
The little boy she is with likes Xbox and Playstation
While she works nights ,he works days ,and she is so lonely she could die
She knows what she had with me ,,I am good to my women
and I am no longer an addict
She was jealous because I still helped my sons Mom ,,she takes care of my son ,why wouldn't I help her
She gave me an ultimatum after my confession of love
Stop helping my sons Mom or she was gone ,,,I told her to leave
now she wants to come home ,,,but with 2 kids from another man ,,
Now she knows how I felt ,,when you have kids involved
NO one comes before my kids ,no one
Well except a wife that says I do ,and knows my son is part of the package
Harper · 26-30, F
@Tatsumi I don't think my request of "Please lock the gate every day, before night begins unless you want a burglar hurting your family," is a SUBTLE sign. I flat out told him that in asian culture (dunno about western culture) part of the men's job is to protect their family from danger. In my country, we have gates, barbwires, locks, and cameras. Nobody in their right mind leaves a door open. My grandpa even wakes up at 3am to check the doors again. That isnhow important safety is for us. I have told this to him 3-5c already. Yet, he forgot to lock the door 2x already. This is not a my "feminine" subtleties, if I ever had one. This is HIM being stupid. Not to mention that we hard burglars before. I am just pissed. I am already doing lots of stuff in the house, and now I have to also try to protect my family from burglars? Isn't that a man's job? In asia, it is. So the next time he doesnt lock the gates, be sure he will be sleeping on the other side. 😡
Tatsumi · 31-35, M
@Harper We tend to pretend there's no such thing as a "Man's job" or a "Woman's job" in the West. But from my cultural point of view, we tend to have higher expectations of women, flipping some locks isn't the hardest thing in the world, is it? Or do you have to fight off tiger's to get to the gate? lol.
But yes, I agree it would be the man's job to protect the family.
But sure, I was thinking conceptually since you were pretty ambiguous about what the specific issue was, so I threw a general issue out there. In a relationship where they're comfortable, women tend to give more masculine requests with more frequency. Especially if the man is not much of a man.
Anyways, why are you staying with him if he's failing his job?
But yes, I agree it would be the man's job to protect the family.
But sure, I was thinking conceptually since you were pretty ambiguous about what the specific issue was, so I threw a general issue out there. In a relationship where they're comfortable, women tend to give more masculine requests with more frequency. Especially if the man is not much of a man.
Anyways, why are you staying with him if he's failing his job?