I Have Something to Say
I am not saying he doesn't love my grandchildren, I am just saying that his love for them has conditions. But it is the same for me, his love for me is conditional as well, or at least it seems like it.
They are my grandchildren, I am the one that chose to take them when they were taken away from there mother. I have had them for just about 3 years now and I am about to adopt them. I don't regret making any of my decisions pertaining to those children, I love them, they are my life and I would give up everything for them. I have unconditional love for them.
I understand that they are not his kids nor are they his grandkids. I am saying that he knew I had them when he chose to get involved with me, I did not hide that from him. He knew what taking on me meant, I came with 3 kids in tow.
I mistakenly thought that his acceptance meant that we would be in this together and he was going to help me raise them. Has time goes on I am coming to realize that is not the case at all. Yes he helps with rent, electric, internet and water, which is great. But when it comes to the kids, he complains about picking them up from the program they are in for the summer and now after school. He claims that because I have four people in this house, I should be buying all the groceries because he doesn't hardly eat anything. But yet he wants me to get stuff for him from the store all the time. He complains when I ask him for help with the groceries and constantly complains about the gas he uses to pick them up from their program. This is all in the same town mind you, while I drive over an hour away to work and yes I made that choice too but making that choice does not negate the fact that I am still doing it. I only even moved so far away to be with him. But he doesn't take that into consideration, he didn't have to give up as much as I did to be in this relationship.
I don't regret living with him, I don't regret the choice I made to move in with him because that meant a larger home for me and my grandchildren, and I do love him very much, it's just that it hurts because his love is so conditional. And I still feel so alone in raising my grandchildren, I just thought things would be different. I thought I finally had a partner to share my life with, all of my life, not just the parts that suite him. You know, the parts where I buy all the groceries and give him gas money for taking the kids back and forth.
It's okay, at least now I realize what it is and soon I will have a job closer to home and I won't have to ask him to do anything for me pertaining to my kids. I don't know how long I will stay in a relationship like this though. I can't see it lasting, he just isn't much of a partner, not like I thought he would be anyway.
They are my grandchildren, I am the one that chose to take them when they were taken away from there mother. I have had them for just about 3 years now and I am about to adopt them. I don't regret making any of my decisions pertaining to those children, I love them, they are my life and I would give up everything for them. I have unconditional love for them.
I understand that they are not his kids nor are they his grandkids. I am saying that he knew I had them when he chose to get involved with me, I did not hide that from him. He knew what taking on me meant, I came with 3 kids in tow.
I mistakenly thought that his acceptance meant that we would be in this together and he was going to help me raise them. Has time goes on I am coming to realize that is not the case at all. Yes he helps with rent, electric, internet and water, which is great. But when it comes to the kids, he complains about picking them up from the program they are in for the summer and now after school. He claims that because I have four people in this house, I should be buying all the groceries because he doesn't hardly eat anything. But yet he wants me to get stuff for him from the store all the time. He complains when I ask him for help with the groceries and constantly complains about the gas he uses to pick them up from their program. This is all in the same town mind you, while I drive over an hour away to work and yes I made that choice too but making that choice does not negate the fact that I am still doing it. I only even moved so far away to be with him. But he doesn't take that into consideration, he didn't have to give up as much as I did to be in this relationship.
I don't regret living with him, I don't regret the choice I made to move in with him because that meant a larger home for me and my grandchildren, and I do love him very much, it's just that it hurts because his love is so conditional. And I still feel so alone in raising my grandchildren, I just thought things would be different. I thought I finally had a partner to share my life with, all of my life, not just the parts that suite him. You know, the parts where I buy all the groceries and give him gas money for taking the kids back and forth.
It's okay, at least now I realize what it is and soon I will have a job closer to home and I won't have to ask him to do anything for me pertaining to my kids. I don't know how long I will stay in a relationship like this though. I can't see it lasting, he just isn't much of a partner, not like I thought he would be anyway.
51-55, F
