To take a page from one of the SW groups I am fascinated by human behavior. The way we interact with one another is puzzling, humorous, horrible, attractive, repulsive, and so on.

Passive aggressive behavior comes in layers and shades. It can be screamingly obvious or as subtle as a gentle breeze. The consequences of that behavior are usually disheartening and more than a little frightening.

Yes, I think you are right. My husband is passive aggressive. This description sounds so much like him! But he is also a martyr, drawing attention to all the sacrifices he makes for his family and his job.

@island, so eloquently put. Thank you for such a rich description. You are spot on.

@Carissimi, I just endured an hour of my husband telling me how terrible I treat him. I know there are things I could do better, but I am in the process of filing for divorce. He condemns me for living here "rent free". He says I should go. And he is angry because he says I didn't try to work things out with him. That's a new tactic of his. I find lately I get angry at him a lot more easily, because I feel he is pushing my buttons. And that is very bad. He feels righteous because he isn't the one having the angry outburst. It's a challenge right now! He is very manipulative!!

@pink, that martyrdom is part of the passive aggression.

For some reason, I've been surrounded by passive aggressives my whole life. I still am. It's damaging.

@pink, I wish you the best in this difficult time. Having recently gone through the process, I know how stressful it is.