I Have Something to Say
I just saw a great definition of passive aggressive behavior: sugar coated hostility.
It really is hostility that is insidious and hard to grasp. You feel like someone is treating you poorly, or disrespecting you, even hurting you, yet it's done in such a way that you wonder if you are being overly sensitive, or going crazy.
I was reading that we all engage in passive aggressive behavior at times, and one example is saying yes when you really mean no. However, in my mind, even if one feels a little resentment about saying yes because you are afraid to say no, I don't see how it's passive aggressive, if you are not hostile, and don't cause harm to anyone or anything. I don't think this is a good definition of a passive aggressive behavior. I think it's more lack of confidence to stand up for yourself and set boundaries.
To me, true passive aggression is where there is actual hostility, yet you can't be sure. Something feels wrong, like you are being disrespected or disregarded, insulted, or even abused, yet it's so sugar coated and veiled you can't be sure. Once you start thinking and feeling like this, you most likely are the target of a passive aggressive, especially as time passes, and you feel more and more disturbed by this subtle aggression directed at you.
It really is hostility that is insidious and hard to grasp. You feel like someone is treating you poorly, or disrespecting you, even hurting you, yet it's done in such a way that you wonder if you are being overly sensitive, or going crazy.
I was reading that we all engage in passive aggressive behavior at times, and one example is saying yes when you really mean no. However, in my mind, even if one feels a little resentment about saying yes because you are afraid to say no, I don't see how it's passive aggressive, if you are not hostile, and don't cause harm to anyone or anything. I don't think this is a good definition of a passive aggressive behavior. I think it's more lack of confidence to stand up for yourself and set boundaries.
To me, true passive aggression is where there is actual hostility, yet you can't be sure. Something feels wrong, like you are being disrespected or disregarded, insulted, or even abused, yet it's so sugar coated and veiled you can't be sure. Once you start thinking and feeling like this, you most likely are the target of a passive aggressive, especially as time passes, and you feel more and more disturbed by this subtle aggression directed at you.
