I Have Something to Say

If you're wondering why women don't speak up after being sexually assaulted, it's because we never get believed or get taken seriously. During high school, I had a boy subdue me and grope my breasts at a school dance. He followed me to a water fountain. Initially my thought was that he was just going to the water fountain too. But he corned me against a wall and put his hands underneath my clothes. When I resisted, he grabbed me by the throat and shook me. I mean he literally shook me. I didn't protest after that. He was at least a foot taller than me. I knew I didn't stand a chance of breaking away. He only stopped when he heard someone walking towards us. I ran away from him as fast as possible and told one of my teachers what had just happened. His response was and I still remember clearly: "He probably didn't mean any harm. Let me know if he does it again." That night, I learned speaking up was useless. For some reason that I cannot understand for the life of me, people just don't care. And all women learn this at some point in their lives. So next time you hear a woman speak up, don't tell her she should have spoken up sooner or that she should have said no.

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CesareBorgia

Meh, this is not generally the case, not by a long shot. I used to own a nightclub, and regularly detained people, both men and women who behaved inappropriately or sexually abused someone. I would call the local police and either hand over video of the assault, present witnesses or whatever else I had to prove what took place.

I know plenty of business owners who have similarly done the same with employees and patrons alike.

If you do not get satisfaction when you report abuse to someone, then report it to someone who will do something about it. Or in your case, report the abuse to another teacher, your school consular, principle, psychologist, nurse, local law enforcement, etc. I'm not trying to discount how you felt when you were attacked, it's wrong and nobody, not male nor female, should ever have to put up with that type of behavior, sexual misconduct or abuse. But you are not powerless, you can do something about it.

There are also apps you can download for your phone that make it easy to use them as a recording device or video recording device simply by shaking them. This can be done in your pocket so that you can record proof of the assault.

You can carry legal sprays, bear spray works well, that you can deploy if attacked.

It bothers me that some people behave in this way, it's unfortunate but they certainly shouldn't get away with it. Not only did they make you a victim but they will surely repeat these same acts with someone else. It makes me upset and sad even to see how many people are just now coming out about their own abuse, but at least it's being exposed and people are having serious conversations about it. I can appreciate your post and what it must have taken to post this. I'm sorry this happened to you, and to everyone else it has happened to, children, male and female. We all need to continue to expose people that behave in unacceptable ways, and make sure they are properly prosecuted if they commit these types of crimes.

SW-User

Very well said and you make excellent points. @CesareBorgia

silentwhisper · 26-30, F

@CesareBorgia I'm not sure if what happened to me isn't a general experience for women. I do believe what you're saying about your own experience, but at least from my own personal experience, people just don't care. During college, there was a guy in my dorm building who would habitually harass me. He would always ask me to touch him in places. One night, he got really drunk and grabbed me by the arms and took me into the men's room. There were other guys in there. None of them said or did anything. When he kissed me, they all laughed. People don't care.