There are a lot of reasons I suppose for why I feel the way do. And why identifying what exactly that feeling is has become so mystifyingly difficult. There’s no separation anymore. No lines delineating one emotion from another. Just undulating waves rolling into and through each other so everything is colored by the shadow of something else. I’m not unhappy. I’m not happy. I laugh, but I don’t feel the lightness to it anymore. I cry, but it’s an empty sort of release. The beauty grew deeper and deeper until it broke my heart. Now I wonder if there’s anything pure to look forward to that isn’t just grief.
