Swimming the days

It has been a while my life feels like swimming in a big ocean (the pandemic has made this feeling stronger). Sometimes coming out for air, but not for too long since the sight of the endless ocean around me would bring just despair. Sometimes swimming with water all above me, but not for too long since I could drawn.

Sometimes looking for the news, yearning of information and knowledge, joining the dots in an often incomplete and fake map, and trying to make an image that makes sense. Other times embracing an 'ignorance is bliss' stance.

Sometimes trying to make my sensations intense, my feelings strong. Other times numbing myself, trying not to feel.

Longing for a shore, always longing for my shore.

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novembermoon · 51-55

Despair sometimes eats us up. I try not to allow that. It is difficult and I always end up asking myself - 'so what's the point?' I always tell myself to be grateful, that things happen for a reason, that it will pass. I wish those were not lies I'm telling myself.

Cierzo · M

@novembermoon I don't think they are lies. This will pass too, we have motives to be grateful, and these things going on now happen for a reason. The despair happens when I realise that reason has nothing to do with us but the consequences do.