Should I kill myself on my 20th birthday?

Nah. You've yet to live and you wanna die already? Try a little adulthood and being free to be responsible for and only answer to yourself. It may be challenging at times but heck that's how it is, that's freedom, that's living. At leafy experience what that's like and after some real experience at it. Then after about 10 years if you still feel the same - go ahead cuz you're probably not gonna make at that point after calling your own shots anyway.