Should I kill myself on my 20th birthday?

Instead of trying to end your depression, perhaps understanding where it comes from can help. Can you identify the source of your depression? I find that understanding is the key to just about everything, this being no exception. I've been suicidal myself, and it felt desperate and empty and painful, like no one could possibly understand or care, at least in part because I thought I didn't care about myself. The more I learn about myself, the less inclined I am to feel irreparably lost in negativity. Understanding my own triggers has been a big part of that.