Should I kill myself on my 20th birthday?

I think Raymond Reddington, as portrayed by James Spader, said it best: "Have you ever seen the aftermath of a suicide bombing? I have. June 29, 2003. I was meeting two associates at the Marouche restaurant in Tel Aviv. As my car was pulling up, a 20-year-old Palestinian named Ghazi Safar entered the restaurant and detonated a vest wired with C4. The shock wave knocked me flat, blew out my eardrums. I couldn’t hear. The smoke... It was like being underwater. I went inside. A nightmare. Blood. Parts of people. You could tell where Safar was standing when the vest blew. It was like a perfect circle of death. There was almost nothing left of the people closest to him. 17 dead, 46 injured. Blown to pieces. The closer they were to the bomber, the more horrific the effect. That’s every suicide. Every single one. An act of terror perpetrated against everyone who’s ever known you... Everyone who’s ever loved you. The people closest to you... the ones who cherish you... are the ones who suffer the most pain, the most damage. Why would you do that?"