I know, I know it's weak, but I wish someone would stand beside me while I told him to get lost forever...

Needing help is never wrong. Everyone needs help in life. My advice, without knowing the backstory, would be to think of all of the good reasons to move in a separate direction and what created that need. Anytime there are doubts that have brought you to this point means those doubts are well-founded. Don't look back and don't worry about having a tough road ahead. Most of the time, the difficult road we choose to stay on because of fearing the unknown, only gets rougher, never better.
Take a U-turn and commit to it.
Life will get better. I have travelled that same road and now the bumps have become smooth.
You've got this!!