What is this?

Someone tells you they're trying harder to communicate, but they don't tell you anything and ignore you. Then they tell you they don't how to communicate. So you tell them you like to share their joy and pain, they can tell you anything anytime. Then they still don't share anything.

And they truly unable to communicate? Or are they unwilling?

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antonioioio · 70-79, M

Theirs loads of people who find it hard to communicate including my self and because of it , I pick on things that others don't
My sister had just told thaat she had terminal cancer in 2920 and finished up saying that she thought her husband didn't love her
I replied telling her. That her husband worshiped the ground she walked on and left her in no doubt about it before I finished

Blondily · F

I read thru the comments and know why they don't communicate, its because their hearts are hardened over time and they don't like confrontation. I was told by someone they are just thinking. Ok. So they ignore you hurting you even deeper. They know what they are doing too. Its payback. Thats my opinion.

MarbleMarvel

@Blondily I feel like they knew what they were doing too. There was times they put in the effort, then suddenly they couldn't, then eventually it just got rude.

How hard is to share with the person you claim to love? How can you not know what to do when I'm telling you how we could do it together? How can you tell someone you're working on it and then communicate less?

I understand we all go through things, but how does someone expect to get through it together while avoiding you?

How am I your friend when I'm the only one you avoid?

I can't shake the feeling that it was all him trying to hurt me...

Blondily · F

@MarbleMarvel Its shocking when someone you loved and who loved you back turns cold and uncaring out of nowhere. It feels inhuman to be treated with such coldness.
Sometimes theres a glimmer of hope when they reel you in then drop you off a cliff again leaving you confused with heartwrenching sadness.
I am so sorry you have been put thru the grinder. You don't deserve it. None of us do. 🤗

Bexsy

Perhaps they're the type who shy away from just expressing things like feelings, or deeper communication. Maybe it's outside their comfort levels. If they seem to with others though. Then time possibly to not put yourself through more hurt

MarbleMarvel

@Bexsy yeah they are ignoring me, leaving me on read, when I know they're on their phone quite a bit. Whenever we spent time together they'd look at everything that came through from others.

Once again I'm just a special turd to people.

caccoon · 36-40

Some people are terrified to open up because they can't be vulnerable with others. It's likely they grew up with that dynamic in their household and it can lead them to have bad anxiety when they try to talk about things, or even consider doing it, so they shut down/deflect/ignore

And then they will blame you because they are unwilling to change (it's too scary)

There's not much you can do, unfortunately

OlderSometimesWiser · F

Very difficult to know where to draw the line between unable and unwilling. Perhaps the only way to know would be to find out how they behave with other people in their life.

MarbleMarvel

@OlderSometimesWiser they're definitely communicating/spending time with others. That's why I'm feeling the sting.

pripyatamusementpark

Maybe they just aren't for you and it's time to let go .

robertsnj · 56-60, M

unwilling

for most of the people you interact with it does not matter as much of what they say but what they do

if this person not communicating with you it is probably because they do not want to.

if this is a romanitc interest of yours maybe let this one go.

RequiemforanElephant

They are not emotionally available?

MarbleMarvel

@RequiemforanElephant Yeah I can see that, but why act like you're changing things for the better then letting it get worse?

RequiemforanElephant

@MarbleMarvel I don't know, they felt somewhere wrongly, that protecting themselves emotionally gave more to them instead of just being vulnerable?

Miram · 31-35, F

You are incompatible.

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