What do you do

I lie awake reading posts on here… or I read a fictional story… or I contemplate my choices in life… I think the hardest thing for me to do is to let go of people who are great but don’t treat me with love that I long for. And I blame my father for that. He’s a self centered manipulator that will never change. I gave him so many chances to be a better person growing up that now in my adult life I give people many chances to be better. I eventually cut myself off from my father bc he became unbearable. But— I wish I had the courage to do the same to ppl in my adult life. The risk of being too lonely seems tragic…

Maybe it’s best we put a pot of camomile tea on the stove and listen to the white noise of a fan till we drift to sleep again 😴💤