Do you give people the opportunity to apologize for grievances you hold against them, that might or might not actually be as you initially viewed them

It would depend on how much you know them and how much they know you.

I've had friends whom I told deep hurts to. In the end, either the words went to their ear and got out on the other or they just did not care. Because they ended up doing exactly the same thing as what I told them hurt me before.

I closed the door for that one.I think it did me good. Though I have to say, sometimes I do still wonder what might have happened if we managed to work it out.