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Here's a thing. My husband bought a $25 ticket and won grand prize in a club. $13K.

From it he wants to buy 3 bottles of Jim Beam worth $800 each. He wants to keep 2: 1 to drink at home and the other, reserve. The third one he wants to give back to the club. Is giving back to the club necessary? Like he won that ok, but the club didn't do anything but to randomly pick a ticket and he was lucky his got picked. I was saying he doesn't have to do it. All he has to do is enjoy his winnings or another good thing is maybe donate if he wants to. How about you? What do you think?
Ontheroad · M
I get the the idea of him wanting to make some sort of gesture, but let's be real, that gesture will 10 minutes after it's made, be forgotten. If anything, find a local shelter for single moms or battered women and give them $800.00. I can promise you he will be long remembered and that $800 dolalrs will go to some very grateful people.
GunFinger · F
@Ontheroad exactly. I'd want to do that too. I think that's more sensible.
SW-User
I have been to events called Calcuttas that are charity events. You purchase a ball or balls with numbers on them. You can choose your number if it hasn't been taken already. The prices of the balls go from $10 at certain events to hundreds at others. They usually sell 100 balls but I have seen Calcuttas with 200. The drawing is usually combined with a dinner and, yes, you have to be there to win. The drawing goes like this: the balls are pulled from a rotating drum and if your ball is drawn you are out. There is no prize if you are eliminated. The last 3 balls are prize balls. I've never won but have come in second. I ALWAYS donated my winnings back to the charity. I'm not saying your husband should donate all of his winnings back to the club (is this for charity) but something would be nice.
GunFinger · F
@SW-User yes, if it was for a cause it is nice to give back, but his is only a social thing at work.
13k is a nice price, but not so huge you can start throwing it around. $800 for one bottle seems a lot to start with, let alone to give away for not really doing anything. Maybe he can give them a $10 box of chocolate instead? It's the gesture that counts, right?
GunFinger · F
@NerdyPotato that's right. They're gonna forget what he did anyway and they probably don't him in the first place.
@GunFinger I'm a little worried about his initial thoughts. He's going to blow straight through the whole prize in a few days before even considering if there is anything it might be useful or important for. He's spending hundreds with the ease as if he got billions rather than thousands.
GunFinger · F
@NerdyPotato hey me too. I'm his wife it's upsetting the way he thinks.
fun4us2b · M
He should think on it for a week before doing any of that...$80 dollar bottles are not so bad...
fun4us2b · M
@GunFinger I'm not sure what you can do....does he have a friend you can ask to speak some sense to him?
GunFinger · F
@fun4us2b I'm speaking with my brother-in-law and he also doesn't know why he's like that. He said his brother has to fix his house first and the club doesn't need a bottle of alcohol. I hope my husband mentions his plan so my brother-in-law gives him an earful.
fun4us2b · M
@GunFinger Maybe make a list of stuff that needs to get done around the house, not to mention future things your children will need...I feel for you....
Classified · M
I'd mostly say let him enjoy it. One of the bad things about winning money is that people have opinions what you should do with your prize. 😋 Unless it would cause/not solve existing financial problems, but that's my opinion. 😳 Most important is that it doesn't drive a wedge between the two of you.

What's he planning to do with the other $10,600?
Classified · M
@GunFinger So a large part of the winnings could go into finishing the renovation of the house. That would be a good idea.

It's a bit weird to want to give away a bottle of $800. However to me it feels like those bottles are part of an old dream he's finally able to fulfill now and wants to share that dream with the club. I would imagine he acts very happy when he talks about those plans (unless he's reserved about other people's opinions).

Of course I can be wrong, but that's how I imagine it.

@HootyTheNightOwl To me that that goes two ways. Not spending $800, so that instead it goes the the benefit of my family would be a fine choice. Supporting someone that wants to give away a product of $800 (and in this case still have 10K left) is also a choice that someone could make for their family (on a different level than material wealth obviously). Also trying to have that $800 go to the family can be a choice to make for the family.
@Classified It all depends on the living standards of your family, though... if you're not comfortable enough to do renovations and whatever on a routine basis, then it makes sense to do the treat more modestly and hold back more of the money for your own needs.

Spending that much is okay if you are reasonably on top of your home maintenance - which it sounds like he is not... aside from that, he does need to think about his family and their needs more than a nice gesture for the club.

Our poster highlights the need for a kitchen renovation, which isn't usually cheap at the best of times.
Classified · M
@HootyTheNightOwl It's a lot and I don't know how big the need is. The much larger part is not spend however (at the time gun made her post, I don't know what's up now) so that can still go to renovations.

Let's see what else he wants to do with the winnings. To me it isn't strange that he wants to enjoy it. To not enjoy it at all, but to use it only responsibly, can make winning boring in my opinion and can make something that should be really really fun into something sad even. If now money goes into renovation and maybe a dinner with gun, then it sounds like both fun and responsible has happened and it's a win win.
Degbeme · 70-79, M
My thinking would be to spend it on my family. Not bloody booze and giving back to the the club. 🙄
GunFinger · F
@Degbeme true Deg. He needs a wake up call. The family and the house need it more.
GJOFJ3 · 61-69, M
I say be happy for him and let him enjoy his winnings however he likes.
GunFinger · F
@GJOFJ3 I'm happy for him, but I guess that kind of money could go a long way only if he thinks harder.
LunarOrbit · 56-60, M
Money makes people think distortedly different.

He probably thinks he is doing the right thing, while possibly seeking appreciation. But its messed up…

Hard to explain but I went thru the same thing.
GunFinger · F
@LunarOrbit right. He could be dumb sometimes, I must admit. And yes, he always likes to be acknowledged, appreciated and special mentioned.
LunarOrbit · 56-60, M
@GunFinger He sounds like a great guy with a big heart. He’s probably going to do what he wants to do…(and possibly regret it when the smoke clears).
I would be persistent and let him know you dont think its a great idea. Don’t yell, don’t be upset…just advise him he could do more good with that money where its needed more.

Good luck.
GunFinger · F
@LunarOrbit thank you so much.
Personally id ask for a family holiday now he has money to spare , and let him do whatever .

Hes going to anyway 🤷‍♀️
GunFinger · F
@OogieBoogie that's my plan too.
Livingwell · 61-69, M
This sounds misguided. He put money in to win like many others. That's how fundraising works. But he owes them nothing. What he should do is take you on a well earned and deserved fantasy vacation. You're been there through thick and thin. And have been mostly alone. If he owes anyone, it is you.
Ambroseguy80 · 56-60, M
I agree with you. Why give it back to the club, who was expecting to give it away anyway? He could alwayx give some to the neighbors with their coffee. 😛
GunFinger · F
@Ambroseguy80 stopit with the coffee I'm gonna return the wine!🤣
I sure hope he spends the rest more wisely because I’d find other ways to spend the first 2.4K
GunFinger · F
@BeefySenpie I found more ways. Not on alcohol though.
Adogslife · 61-69, M
Put the money in your account. Build a safety net for ages.
GunFinger · F
@Adogslife i wish we could without him having tantrums.
Adogslife · 61-69, M
@GunFinger that sucks. 😕
GunFinger · F
@Adogslife really does. I hate it.
icedsky · 51-55, M
Is it a traditional thing? Win big.. give a cut to the club?
GunFinger · F
@icedsky i think he's being stupid imo.
icedsky · 51-55, M
@GunFinger Quite possibly he already bought one of those expensive Jim Beams and drank it
I'd keep it. I def wouldn't blow it like that.
GunFinger · F
@Spoiledbrat same. Or spend it on this house. It needs lots of renovating.
samueltyler2 · 80-89, M
He will not share his winnings with his wife?
GunFinger · F
@samueltyler2 I'm not sure. He wants attention from other people first.
pdockal · 56-60, M
Don't get me started !!!!!
GunFinger · F
@pdockal what's your opinion? Am I selfish?
pdockal · 56-60, M
@GunFinger your fine
Manzi · 56-60, M
The club gets nothing
GunFinger · F
@Manzi true. A man with the right mind would think this.
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
He seems like the kind of guy that’s going to do what he wants. I can’t imagine ever spending that much on alcohol
GunFinger · F
@iamonfire696 true. He asks me but when I have an opinion he gets upset and would still do whatever stupid things he likes.
SW-User
Sorry but I don't understand his thinking tbh, that's kind of weird, there's absolutely no need to give a thank you gift for winning a prize, maybe he likes to "show off"
GunFinger · F
@SW-User very hard. He always seeks acknowledgement because he didn't have that when he was a child. His parents were always working.
SW-User
@GunFinger I have a similar problem with my husband, he's always seeking validation from his mother that he basically cannot stand... It's a very difficult situation to be caught up with, she needs to be cut off, he knows it, but he will not, he seems to need to be validated by her for some reason
GunFinger · F
@SW-User oh they're the same! I surely know we moved here from Sydney where it was so good so he could be closer to his mum.
empanadas · 31-35, M
I would never pay 800 dollars for liquor. I would rather donate 2400 to a local charity than buying that. Also, no he doesn't have to give it but he's probably doing it to get perks next time he comes to that club.
GunFinger · F
@empanadas it's a social club at work. I wouldn't want to waste that amount of money on alcohol too. We will discuss what he should do with the rest. Some will go to my daughter's braces/plates this year
GunFinger · F
@empanadas I sent him a lengthy message last night because he doesn't want to talk to me about it. He will realise and regret when he decides on spending that kind of money on alcohol.
empanadas · 31-35, M
@GunFinger oh he probably just wanted to celebrate a little with his coworkers. At least he didn't spend all of it. Don't be too hard, it could had been a lot worse
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GunFinger · F
@Stereoguy he doesn't think. I wish he knew how.
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