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I Have a Question

A friend of mine, whom I met online, recently tried to play West Coast Matchmaker, trying to set me up with her online best friend, who lives maybe an hour South of me (I'm in the East Coast).

I asked her last week if she wanted to get together and she agreed. She's very difficult to make plans with, as she doesn't always check her messages, so I was amazed that she even gave me her number. I called her that night and she picked up. All I said was "hi" and she hung up on me instantly.

I sat on my couch, baffled. After waiting a minute or two I called her back and this time I had to leave a voicemail. Never heard from her. I let her friend know about this yesterday morning, to let her know that I tried but I was understandably offended by her actions.

She reminded me that the lady in question is highly anxious, which I do get. I decided to try one last time, this time texting her. I apologized for possibly making her uncomfortable, saying I'd be willing to my just text if she wanted, as I still wanted to see her. Or not. It was up to her.

I never heard back from her and I'm no longer pursuing it. My question is this: is this something that highly anxious people do? Did she simply not know what she wanted after all? Did I do anything wrong? This has NEVER happened to me before and I'm very baffled. Thanks.
ChampagneOnIce · 51-55, F
Weird. I don’t have anxiety, but I know some one who has it bad. She behaves outside the norm as well. Sorry this happened to you. It doesn’t sound like you did anything wrong. It sounds like you were polite and accommodating. Everyone has issues. The key is finding someone whose issues you can live with, and they can live with yours. Good luck. I wouldn’t pursue her anymore personally, but I don’t like drama. (I don’t mean that to sound negative. I just know being around people with anxiety is draining for me.)
GymRat584 · 36-40, M
@ChampagneOnIce This whole thing just boggles my mind. And yes, I was extremely polite. All I said was "hi". And no I won't pursue this. I have anxiety too, and I probably understand her more than she knows. But that was brand new to me, that's for sure.
Friendlygirl · 61-69, F
Yes it is what highly anxious people do .. I don’t answer my phone , only for family member and some times I watch the phone ring in my hand till it stops and goes they voice mail ..on my part I can’t help it .. I just don’t want to talk , texting is easier.. I hope this helped a little.
GymRat584 · 36-40, M
@Friendlygirl it does. I just wish she warned me about that before I called. Thanks again.
Yeah, I've hung up a couple of times, maybe she feels extra bad now because of how rude it looks and she's overthinking it, that's why she's avoiding you?..

I don't know.
Casheyane · 31-35, F
@PuppetOnStrings Yeah, I think that may be it too.
AthrillatheHunt · 51-55, M
It’s not you dude. Trust me on this one.
GymRat584 · 36-40, M
@AthrillatheHunt Oh I know pal! Trust me I know, this is the one I laugh about! She'll never know what she could've had.
Virgo79 · 61-69, M
Sounds like the best time to let it go.
SW-User
I’m a dude and I did this to a girl I met online 18 years ago.

Anxiety is a bitch.
SW-User
@GymRat584 We were to meet somewhere. Then she said her mom was going to meet her too. I walked to the door of the restaurant... I saw the girl (woman... we were low 20's) and her mom. I bolted.

One of the bigger mistakes in my life. Our Yahoo Chat! texting was never the same again.
GymRat584 · 36-40, M
@SW-User Oh man. Would you say the knee jerk reaction came from the knowledge that her mother was going to be there?
SW-User
@GymRat584 I can't remember what was the burning cause of the anxiety. I just bolted.

 
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