I Have a Question

My mom died last month. She was cremated and I asked to witness the whole process. CereBellum is right that they use in effect a large cardboard box as the cremation casket.

Quizling, the entire cremation business is highly regulated. They have licenses, and checks, and cross-checks, and all kinds of ways to defeat a person who wants to use the equipment to dispose of a body. I think the only way you would be doing a cremation on your own is if you build the oven and then figure a way to get it up to 2000 degrees.

I noticed that in some parts of the US they are starting a "green" cremation process that uses Lye:
http://fcaofmn.org/alkaline-hydrolysis-green-cremation.html

@cerebellum, Her dying was the hard part, and it still is. Being a witness to the cremation was actually comforting in some way, because I supervised the funeral home at every step to make sure a mistake was not made. I felt like I was being loyal to my mom right until the moment she was reduced to ashes. The funeral home and the crematory operator were incredibly professional and they created a fairly intimate process.

Is it wrong that I have way too many options popping up in my head right now? Ugh

florida everglades.

A bath of strong alkali, far more effective than acid.

@Powerhouse - Where do you think they get their 'prime beef'... :p

Leave it in the coffin too. I am quite sure you could cram two into a coffin if they don;t mind budging up a bit :D

And let's face it, regarding weight, my grandmother weighed about 6st when she died and the coffin felt like it weighted half a tonne, between six of us! So I doubt anyone would notice the disparity unless they were used to hefting coffins about...

I have ways.
Ways that will work.
But not if I go spouting them off on the Internet. 😁

@Cerebellum - The problem with using a croc or alligator is that the digestion process is incredibly slow, and if the beast was caught, and an autopsy done in time then they could still potentially lead back to you...

Admittedly unlikely, but strange twists of fate happen, lol

@Bijoux - Er... It's sort of a hobby of mine and a stress relief tool. If someone is REALLY annoying me I commit a mental pre-meditated murder, along with how to get away with it.

It's surprisingly effective, in essence turning anger into a logic problem :D

(And yes, I am totally sane, I have certificates to prove it...) :p

Bbq

@Powerhouse - Pigs are no good, they are able to detect genetic material in their faeces and there will still be flecks of undigested bone.

With alkali the DNA structure breaks down and it is more corrosive to more substances if you also need to get rid of someone's personal effects or other evidence... :)

There are a lot of options! But, my favorite is:
In meat factories, there are machines used to grind bones and cartilage and flesh very finely. You cut up the body and just throw it in!

@Cerebellum - Well, from an outsider's point of view it probably does seem creepy... To me it's just a mental exercise. Like extremely complicated chess... with real people... and a body.

Actually, it sounds more like Cluedo :D

But. . . If you leave it, then you also leave the evidence.
Obviously a hypothetical question.

Chop it up, invite guests, and eat it. Of course they'll think it is chicken meat or something. It would never be found if we eat it all.

@Cerebellum - A cardboard box? Do they do things differently over there? Over here we just remove all the brass bits from the coffin and then burn the whole thing :o

Unless something has changed recently...

Yes, it's just a plain old cardboard box. Burns much quicker and is cost effective.

Feed it to the hogs, they will even eat the bones. Nothing left.

Well, back to plan A then, lol

Of course, this shows the most important part of any plan to dispose of someone... Research! :D

But it's not a coffin, merely a cardboard box.

Quizling: if consumed by an alligator, absolutely NO trace left, whatsoever.

But then what to do with the other "stiff"?

Who are you referring to?

Look for the deepest water.

call The Wolf from Pulp Fiction

Was witnessing that really hard?

Quizling
Maybe I should just give it to Mcdonalds to dispose of

And I thought all I had to do was call a funeral home.

"Well, I am feeling a bit peckish..."

Bon apetite....

Just google it...lol

Well... Idk

Piece by piece

... again?

😱

Bury

Acid

Pig pen

Burn

Of course, one other way would be to contrive to slip the body into the coffin of someone else due for cremation...

" I commit a mental pre-meditated murder, along with how to get away with it."
Don't tell me that's NOT creepy!

Feed it to pigs

Quizling: Methinks you speak with WAY too much authority on this topic...😱