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[𝐏𝐭𝐬𝐝] 𝐃𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩?

𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐲𝐳𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮...𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝. 𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐲𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐞. 𝐒𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬. 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲. 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐢 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐝𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐜𝐫𝐲. 𝐇𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦. 𝐇𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐝. 𝐈𝐟 𝐢 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐮𝐩 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐩𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧. 𝐍𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐢 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐢 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐫 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐬𝐬. 𝐈𝐝 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐢 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤. 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞. 𝐓𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞. 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬. 𝐇𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥, 𝐢𝐦 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐝. 𝐈 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲. 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐦, 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐨𝐞𝐬. 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞. 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐠𝐨𝐝. 𝐈 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐟 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬. 𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐩 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐝, 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐢𝐝 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲. 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭.
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WillaKissing · 56-60, M
My PTSD is different than yours. For me triggers can be places, people, settings, sites, sounds, or odors.

Example: Things like babies breath used to be adorable to me, but after doing CPR on an 18 month old and having it die in my hands. Now the odor of babies breath has different trigger to my senses.

I shoot guns and hunt, but when around cities and I hear gunfire I snap into the: Where is it coming from and where are the threats and how do I take them out..

I know the smell of dead human beings rotting, burning, and decaying flesh. What human blood smells and tastes like misted in the air.

Burning raw oil, tires, and vehicles are all distinct triggers.

Explosions have been come so commonly identifiable to me with out ever seeing them go off; that I can pretty much tell what caused them.

Seeing some one assaulted, belittled, or humiliated sets off a terrible desire to take out the aggressor(s).

So when these triggers hit me with the sites, cents, sounds, odors, or situations. I have to stop and breath deeply assessing the situations immediately and it always boils in my mind
in seconds down to threat or no threat; along with all the ways to take the threat out. That is when I just leave and walk away. I retreat back to my farm and take a walk in the woods or set for hours in the woods watching the wild life. While doing so I relive so many accounts of war and life and death saved, lost, and taken. This does not settle the warrior in me, so then I plot projects that need done or accomplished. I get up and I go to work on those farm projects building fence, building a barn, mowing, digging ditches, building a new home here for myself, tending forestry improvements, cutting firewood and the like to work out my PTSD without harming anyone. And from the on set to the thinking and outlet I talk with God; my lost comrades, and my son I lost in the Army. I usually de-escalate myself in a day or two or three when the project has worn me down from the old injuries and 11 major surgeries I have been through because of my military and civilian service. Then I rest for one to three days time, and to complete my circle of self heeling I dress as Willa to see beauty where I only have seen tragedy and suffering. this completes my healing cycle.

So yes for you Lula going back to work makes perfect sense to me, perfect indeed. Also why I am still alone and lonely to this day.
@WillaKissing 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥, 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝, 𝐚𝐥𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞. 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐆𝐨𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐟𝐚𝐫𝐦. 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚 𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐰𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞. 𝐑𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐚 ♡︎♡︎
WillaKissing · 56-60, M
@lulaluboo Thank you. Your post and our friendship sparked a release, and thank you.