beermeplease · M
HumanEarth · F
So, I tried to do standup special for my dog last night. What a big mistake that was. Huge! Donald Trump huge.
I walked in, cleared my throat, and said,
"Hey buddy, ever notice how humans are the only species that pays to live on Earth? Like, we buy the land we walk on!"
My dog just stared at me. Blank face. No chuckle. Not even a tail wag.
So tthen I tried physical comedy. I slipped on a squeaky toy. Nothing. I made a funny face. He licked his own butt. Man talk about a toough crowd!
See, the problem is, dogs don’t get wordplay. They don’t care about your observations on airline food or dating apps. According to science - and I looked this up - dogs don’t have a "sense of humor" like we do. They can’t process the concept of a joke. If I told my dog, "Take my wife… please," he would just bring me his wife. Which is a Golden Retriever named Princess. And now I’m in trouble.
But here’s the twist: You can make a dog laugh. You just can’t use words. You have to use sound effects.
Researchers found that dogs "LAUGH" with a specific breathy pant sound. It sounds like this: (I make a heavy dog like breathy "hhuh-hhah-hhuh-hhah" sound).
So my new act isn’t jokes. It’s just me standing in the living room going "hhuh-hhah" for twenty minutes. My dog thinks I’m a genius. He’s rolling on the floor. The neighbors think I’m having a seizure, but the dog? The dog is laughing.
So remember Aquaabyss, if you want to be a comedian, study human nature. But if you want to make your dog laugh? Just pant aggressively. Thank you, I’m here all al year!
I walked in, cleared my throat, and said,
"Hey buddy, ever notice how humans are the only species that pays to live on Earth? Like, we buy the land we walk on!"
My dog just stared at me. Blank face. No chuckle. Not even a tail wag.
So tthen I tried physical comedy. I slipped on a squeaky toy. Nothing. I made a funny face. He licked his own butt. Man talk about a toough crowd!
See, the problem is, dogs don’t get wordplay. They don’t care about your observations on airline food or dating apps. According to science - and I looked this up - dogs don’t have a "sense of humor" like we do. They can’t process the concept of a joke. If I told my dog, "Take my wife… please," he would just bring me his wife. Which is a Golden Retriever named Princess. And now I’m in trouble.
But here’s the twist: You can make a dog laugh. You just can’t use words. You have to use sound effects.
Researchers found that dogs "LAUGH" with a specific breathy pant sound. It sounds like this: (I make a heavy dog like breathy "hhuh-hhah-hhuh-hhah" sound).
So my new act isn’t jokes. It’s just me standing in the living room going "hhuh-hhah" for twenty minutes. My dog thinks I’m a genius. He’s rolling on the floor. The neighbors think I’m having a seizure, but the dog? The dog is laughing.
So remember Aquaabyss, if you want to be a comedian, study human nature. But if you want to make your dog laugh? Just pant aggressively. Thank you, I’m here all al year!
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