i think that becoming a full fledged adult is so terrifying haha

Our whole lives people raise us, do their best, and when they make mistakes they use the authority that comes with autonomy to rationalize their failures away, often onto their children; the result is children who attribute all failings of their youth to their own imagined inadequacies.

Now, you are at an age where the authority of autonomy is yours to claim, and so too is the power of rationalization.

Don't be afraid, and don't use it how they used it. Keep the part where you metabolize your failures in a way that keeps you going but lose the part about shifting them to someone weaker than you.