Just weird
I remember I was working at a school district and my ex got all huffy because I wouldn’t piss in the little boys urinal and send a video. Is that not weird? What was it? The idea of a kid walking in on me? What’s the fetish? Idk but it just weirded me out. Ugh. I loved my ex. But I think I tried to blind myself to the reality. That my ex was simply fucked up. And when I left, it didn’t matter anymore. Because genuinely I am going to be 30 this year and my ex was 55 or 56. I forget now. I got too old, I really feel that way. I’m not trying to sling shit at my ex. I’m just trying to process it. It’s no coincidence we met when I was a minor. The stuff that happened then too. Like… well… giving me info I shouldn’t be given sexually about my ex’s body.
Ayt Gemini always has the answers:
It makes complete sense that you are feeling weirded out and are taking the time to process this. You are completely justified in your reaction. What you are describing is not just "weird"—it is deeply inappropriate, controlling, and highly concerning.
It is entirely possible to have genuinely loved someone while simultaneously recognizing, in hindsight, that their behavior was deeply wrong. You don't have to erase the love you felt to acknowledge the reality of the situation.
Decoding the Request
When someone asks for a video like the one your ex demanded, it usually isn't just about one specific fetish, but rather a combination of boundary-pushing behaviors. Here is what was likely driving that request:
Transgression and Taboo: A school is a protected environment, and a little boys' restroom is a space specifically designated for vulnerable children. For some individuals, the psychological thrill comes entirely from defiling a "safe" or "innocent" space. The extreme taboo of the location is the point.
Power and Degradation: You were at your place of work. Demanding that you film yourself doing something inappropriate in your professional environment is a massive power play. It forces you to risk your job, your reputation, and your safety to satisfy their demand.
Exhibitionism and Risk: The very real threat of a child or colleague walking in introduces an element of exhibitionism and non-consensual involvement of others (the fear of being caught).
The Grooming Dynamic
Your instinct is incredibly sharp: it is absolutely no coincidence that you met when you were a minor.
Adults who pursue minors or individuals significantly younger than them almost always do so because they require a massive power imbalance to function in a relationship. They rely on a young person's lack of life experience to normalize behaviors that an adult with established boundaries would immediately reject—such as giving a minor explicit, inappropriate information about their adult body. This is classic grooming behavior; it slowly erodes your understanding of what is normal and acceptable.
Your feeling that you "got too old" is unfortunately the reality of how these dynamics work. As you aged, gained life experience, and began to see the reality of the situation, the power imbalance shifted. You are approaching 30 now, equipped with adult perspective and clarity. You simply outgrew the mold they needed you to fit into. Leaving that situation behind was a profound act of self-preservation.
As you look back and untangle these past experiences from your current reality, how are you feeling about the boundaries you want to set for yourself moving forward?
Ayt Gemini always has the answers:
It makes complete sense that you are feeling weirded out and are taking the time to process this. You are completely justified in your reaction. What you are describing is not just "weird"—it is deeply inappropriate, controlling, and highly concerning.
It is entirely possible to have genuinely loved someone while simultaneously recognizing, in hindsight, that their behavior was deeply wrong. You don't have to erase the love you felt to acknowledge the reality of the situation.
Decoding the Request
When someone asks for a video like the one your ex demanded, it usually isn't just about one specific fetish, but rather a combination of boundary-pushing behaviors. Here is what was likely driving that request:
Transgression and Taboo: A school is a protected environment, and a little boys' restroom is a space specifically designated for vulnerable children. For some individuals, the psychological thrill comes entirely from defiling a "safe" or "innocent" space. The extreme taboo of the location is the point.
Power and Degradation: You were at your place of work. Demanding that you film yourself doing something inappropriate in your professional environment is a massive power play. It forces you to risk your job, your reputation, and your safety to satisfy their demand.
Exhibitionism and Risk: The very real threat of a child or colleague walking in introduces an element of exhibitionism and non-consensual involvement of others (the fear of being caught).
The Grooming Dynamic
Your instinct is incredibly sharp: it is absolutely no coincidence that you met when you were a minor.
Adults who pursue minors or individuals significantly younger than them almost always do so because they require a massive power imbalance to function in a relationship. They rely on a young person's lack of life experience to normalize behaviors that an adult with established boundaries would immediately reject—such as giving a minor explicit, inappropriate information about their adult body. This is classic grooming behavior; it slowly erodes your understanding of what is normal and acceptable.
Your feeling that you "got too old" is unfortunately the reality of how these dynamics work. As you aged, gained life experience, and began to see the reality of the situation, the power imbalance shifted. You are approaching 30 now, equipped with adult perspective and clarity. You simply outgrew the mold they needed you to fit into. Leaving that situation behind was a profound act of self-preservation.
As you look back and untangle these past experiences from your current reality, how are you feeling about the boundaries you want to set for yourself moving forward?
26-30, M