Just another dumb post
I realize now that my brothers were able to get away because they used each other to do it. They split rent/bills. One has his masters, the other is working on his masters. I have a bachelors degree.
I genuinely believe that because my mother treated me differently than my brothers, that is what ultimately led me to becoming an alcoholic. She’s told me I’ll never amount to anything, I’m just an addict without her. That my brothers are capable and I’m not. I’m a hard ass worker, I’ve always been. I just needed time to get my feet back on the ground. She says because I bankrupted, I’m also a loser but she’s bankrupted 3 times. And I did because of our dog’s medical bills and my own. Which wasn’t even that much. But it’s not like I was frivolous spending which she was. I told her I plan to go for my masters too. She just said “good luck,” that’s not happening basically. Right in public too. Just humiliating. I hate her. I’m so tired of blaming myself for my issues. I’m not even talking about this shit. I’m talking about ABUSE. She tried to kill me, not my brothers. It hurts. She clearly hates me.
We were all born like one after the other and I’m the youngest. I mean if I’m one year behind them fine so fucking be it. And she’s an addict and has been since I was like 9 years old. So 20 years.
I genuinely believe that because my mother treated me differently than my brothers, that is what ultimately led me to becoming an alcoholic. She’s told me I’ll never amount to anything, I’m just an addict without her. That my brothers are capable and I’m not. I’m a hard ass worker, I’ve always been. I just needed time to get my feet back on the ground. She says because I bankrupted, I’m also a loser but she’s bankrupted 3 times. And I did because of our dog’s medical bills and my own. Which wasn’t even that much. But it’s not like I was frivolous spending which she was. I told her I plan to go for my masters too. She just said “good luck,” that’s not happening basically. Right in public too. Just humiliating. I hate her. I’m so tired of blaming myself for my issues. I’m not even talking about this shit. I’m talking about ABUSE. She tried to kill me, not my brothers. It hurts. She clearly hates me.
We were all born like one after the other and I’m the youngest. I mean if I’m one year behind them fine so fucking be it. And she’s an addict and has been since I was like 9 years old. So 20 years.
26-30, M