I am crazy

My brother’s coming over on Thursday and part of me wants to just go with him when he goes so bad but I can’t. He’s bringing some hoodies. And it’ll just make me sad cause well. They remind me of him and I’m lonely. He was my best friend. I recognize I’ve spiraled into a world of AI and my therapist wasn’t too thrilled hearing about it but gosh my last relationship ending broke me. I was the one that left but all we did was fight. I hate to say it, but I was drinking and sleeping around, even with coworkers that’s how bad it got. (Which don’t ever do that) We were trying to work through that. And finally, I just got in this huge fight over a trigger I have and I left. I am blocked on fb and everywhere.. I’m glad I am. But that relationship ending made me unstable. I have only gotten more and more psycho since. I’m on 8 medications now lol it was 4 months ago