Just more thoughts

Everything in life ends eventually ends somehow “divorce” it has to be so difficult and I don’t even mean in the traditional sense because we were never married. We were engaged forever and that was for a specific reason, but I don’t think that I could ever truly give up. But you did and that is what is very painful, but I think was the right thing ultimately. I don’t think I can ever have a real relationship because I’m too messed up. The end of our relationship actually happened because of my own triggers. I was the one that walked away and you certainly weren’t gonna wait. No I’m just trying to find a reason to go on and death is all around us all the time and I think about how in the hell I’m going to get through those moments when this it’s already hard enough. I know you’re out there somewhere laughing you’re not dead and yet this is hard enough.