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dancingtongue · 80-89, M
I agree in principle, although there is a difference between giving them a longer leash and preparing them to be self sufficient and just plain neglect. The two incidents I remember raising my younger son and allowing him to spread his wings both occurred in his self-declared "Summer of Independence". The first was his casually mentioning that he had his ridden his bicycle to the other side of town and decided to see how far he could make it down an avenue with an iffy (to be charitable) criminal reputation. I started to say something but my heart was in my throat, until he added "I made it as far as such and such, and decided that was as far as I felt safe". Dang it wasn't exactly the line I would have drawn, reinforcing my faith in his judgement.
The second was his leaving a note saying he was taking the bus to go fishing off the pier in the neighboring town and would be back about the time we returned from work. He wasn't. The days before cellphones. I drove to the pier. When I got there, there was no sign of him but lying on the ground was the plastic bag from a Chinatown market that we frequented that he would have likely have used to carry things, which did not look promising. I dreaded making the call, but went to a pay phone and called my wife to tell her what I had found. Only to have her tell me that he had arrived home just after I left. He had missed the bus he intended to catch back and had to wait for the next.
The chores portion is a no brainer. They should be taught basic chores and be accountable for some from a very early age. Same son thanked his mother for teaching him how to do the laundry. Said the laundry room at the college dorm was a great place to meet chicks because none of them knew how to do laundry.
Giving kids a longer leash and allowing them to explore their own interests is neither neglectful nor easy parenting. But it is good parenting, imho.
The second was his leaving a note saying he was taking the bus to go fishing off the pier in the neighboring town and would be back about the time we returned from work. He wasn't. The days before cellphones. I drove to the pier. When I got there, there was no sign of him but lying on the ground was the plastic bag from a Chinatown market that we frequented that he would have likely have used to carry things, which did not look promising. I dreaded making the call, but went to a pay phone and called my wife to tell her what I had found. Only to have her tell me that he had arrived home just after I left. He had missed the bus he intended to catch back and had to wait for the next.
The chores portion is a no brainer. They should be taught basic chores and be accountable for some from a very early age. Same son thanked his mother for teaching him how to do the laundry. Said the laundry room at the college dorm was a great place to meet chicks because none of them knew how to do laundry.
Giving kids a longer leash and allowing them to explore their own interests is neither neglectful nor easy parenting. But it is good parenting, imho.



