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Confess to a minor crime

I may or may not have stolen my first hoodie the other day. I don't think he knows yet.
Teggy Best Comment
I farted and blamed it on someone else’s kid.
pattycakechamp · 26-30, F
@Teggy I have no words. You win. I think.
@pattycakechamp thank you for BA 🤣😆

nedkelly · 61-69, M
I has sex with Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton - i need to stop drinking
Virgo79 · 61-69, M
@Valerian let's send some to Washington DC.😁
Valerian · 100+, M
@Virgo79 Nah! There's people there I like!
Virgo79 · 61-69, M
@Valerian only to deserving people😁
LadyJ · F
I stole marbars from the Woolworths counter for months when i was a kid 😏
SW-User
@LadyJ Tell fluffy to stop being silly and unblock me.
LadyJ · F
Ok i will let her know your request 😁
SW-User
@LadyJ You are awesome thanks
deadgerbil · 26-30
I went 1 mph over the speed limit
deadgerbil · 26-30
@pattycakechamp I'll drag you down with me
pattycakechamp · 26-30, F
@deadgerbil Implying that I don't already have a reserved room there.
deadgerbil · 26-30
@pattycakechamp I had faith in you 😪
Lacemaker · 41-45, F
I stole one of those road cones on the way home from a drunken party.
romper69 · 51-55, M
@Lacemaker did you put on your head and pretend to be a Disco Witch
Lacemaker · 41-45, F
@romper69 God no, it would probably have broken my neck!
I'm good. I don't need to be on any kinda list
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@HijabaDabbaDoo you never know who they’ll sell that list to.
kodiac · 22-25, M
I tore the tags off my mattress that say do not romove!!🤫
Sunshinekiss · 51-55, F
A friend in elementary school kept bragging about never losing a piece of her board game, so I stole one.

I was such a quiet child no one suspected me, as I helped her search her room.

Good lord I was evil! 😈
pattycakechamp · 26-30, F
@Sunshinekiss Satan herself right here
ImRileyTheDog · 22-25, F
I stole a road sign on a military base
Londonn · 36-40, M
@ImRileyTheDog so literally you laughed you ass off now?
ImRileyTheDog · 22-25, F
@Londonn Definitely, fuck the military
Londonn · 36-40, M
@ImRileyTheDog I agree
SW-User
I once ate a Walmart grape as a kid without paying
I burned my sons clothes for punching me thru a broken window of a locked door, after I kicked him out of my house for getting aggressive with his gf, that was not welcomed, and he said he was cut by a knife. I'm saving my pennies to sue, these degenerative fucks.
exexec · 61-69, C
I stole a piece of "penny candy" when I was 7 years old. My father found out and drove me back to the store, made me confess my crime to the manager, and return the candy. I haven't stolen anything since then.
Pretzel · 61-69, M
@exexec are we brothers?

I stole a rubber ball from a drug store with a toy section.

my mom figured it out and drove me back to the store and I had to apologize

she
was
mad!

and that was the end of my life of crime
Valerian · 100+, M
Snitched Many an Ink Pen!
Especially the Black Fine Point Pens at the Government Offices I often went into for work.
That was 10 years ago & I still have some within reach!
Slade · 56-60, M
I lit a candle at the Notre Dame Cathedral in Montreal but didn't donate the dollar
Valerian · 100+, M
@Slade At least you didn't BURN IT DOWN like you did the one in FRANCE!
Slade · 56-60, M
@Valerian That was Homer Simpson's Contracting
Wiseacre · F
As a youngster,I stole money from my mother’s wallet!
TheCoolestCat · 31-35, M
i once broke into someones house and burnt it down
Valerian · 100+, M
@TheCoolestCat Minor, since no one died!
Right?
Notsimilar · 31-35, F
I stole an alarm clock from the dollar general
Valerian · 100+, M
@Notsimilar Well, you needed it!
So you'd be On Time the Next Day to Return/Exchange it
at Walmart for one 3 Times the Price!
Notsimilar · 31-35, F
@SW-User she had to have seen that coming
Valerian · 100+, M
@SW-User I had a slap fight with mine earlier!
I kept tapping his Ears!

[image/video deleted]

He's Cat Fierceness! ... Claws Win!
romper69 · 51-55, M
I dressed uup as Nancy Pelosi and let Hilary Clinton and some guy have sex with me
Valerian · 100+, M
@romper69 Was Hillary's bigger than the Guy's? 😦
it's not a war crime if it only happens once


i'm kidding, i'm kidding. I got nothing.
romper69 · 51-55, M
I stole some sweets from the pick and mix when I was a kid...at gunpoint
vetguy1991 · 51-55, M
When I was a child I stole some gum
SW-User
@vetguy1991 They should have locked you up and threw away the key.
Valerian · 100+, M
@vetguy1991 And I'll bet you Swallowed it!
And it's Still Trapped, Stuck to the Side of Your Inflamed Esophagus!
Licked the icing off a birthday cake before it was cut! 😳🎂
QueenOfTheNerds · 41-45, F
Took the blame for a car accident I wasn’t in.
EmoRapid · 26-30, M
I stole soda
Valerian · 100+, M
@EmoRapid Soon you'll be stealing baking soda, soda ash, soda crackers, sodium hydroxyzine, sodium cloride ...
Virgo79 · 61-69, M
Never admit you guilt
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Valerian · 100+, M
@wildbill83 Excellent!👍🏻

No One Saw a THING! You weren't there.

The Drunk slipped on the beer he himself had spilled!
wildbill83 · 41-45, M
@Valerian never went to court of course, besides all the support I got from other patrons and staff; If he had tried to pursue charges, he could have easily been charged with assault on a minor (to which there'd have been plenty of witnesses, including myself, to testify to), which would obviously have carried a far stiffer penalty than mine for giving some drunk an attitude adjustment... 🤔

 
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