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Confess to a minor crime

I may or may not have stolen my first hoodie the other day. I don't think he knows yet.

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Teggy Best Comment

I farted and blamed it on someone else’s kid.

pattycakechamp · 26-30, F

@Teggy I have no words. You win. I think.

Teggy

@pattycakechamp thank you for BA 🤣😆

nedkelly · 61-69, M

I has sex with Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton - i need to stop drinking

View 12 more replies »

Virgo79 · 61-69, M

@Valerian let's send some to Washington DC.😁

Valerian · 100+, M

@Virgo79 Nah! There's people there I like!

Virgo79 · 61-69, M

@Valerian only to deserving people😁

LadyJ · F

I stole marbars from the Woolworths counter for months when i was a kid 😏

View 5 more replies »

SW-User

@LadyJ Tell fluffy to stop being silly and unblock me.

LadyJ · F

Ok i will let her know your request 😁

SW-User

@LadyJ You are awesome thanks

deadgerbil · 22-25

I went 1 mph over the speed limit

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deadgerbil · 22-25

@pattycakechamp I'll drag you down with me

pattycakechamp · 26-30, F

@deadgerbil Implying that I don't already have a reserved room there.

deadgerbil · 22-25

@pattycakechamp I had faith in you 😪

Lacemaker · 41-45, F

I stole one of those road cones on the way home from a drunken party.

romper69 · 51-55, M

@Lacemaker did you put on your head and pretend to be a Disco Witch

Lacemaker · 41-45, F

@romper69 God no, it would probably have broken my neck!

NickiHijab · F

I'm good. I don't need to be on any kinda list

cherokeepatti · 61-69, F

@NickiHijab you never know who they’ll sell that list to.

kodiac · 22-25, M

I tore the tags off my mattress that say do not romove!!🤫

Sunshinekiss · 51-55, F

A friend in elementary school kept bragging about never losing a piece of her board game, so I stole one.

I was such a quiet child no one suspected me, as I helped her search her room.

Good lord I was evil! 😈

pattycakechamp · 26-30, F

@Sunshinekiss Satan herself right here

ImRileyTheDog · 22-25, F

I stole a road sign on a military base

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Londonn · 36-40, M

@ImRileyTheDog so literally you laughed you ass off now?

ImRileyTheDog · 22-25, F

@Londonn Definitely, fuck the military

Londonn · 36-40, M

@ImRileyTheDog I agree

SW-User

I once ate a Walmart grape as a kid without paying

checkoutanytime · M

I burned my sons clothes for punching me thru a broken window of a locked door, after I kicked him out of my house for getting aggressive with his gf, that was not welcomed, and he said he was cut by a knife. I'm saving my pennies to sue, these degenerative fucks.

exexec · 61-69, C

I stole a piece of "penny candy" when I was 7 years old. My father found out and drove me back to the store, made me confess my crime to the manager, and return the candy. I haven't stolen anything since then.

Pretzel · 61-69, M

@exexec are we brothers?

I stole a rubber ball from a drug store with a toy section.

my mom figured it out and drove me back to the store and I had to apologize

she
was
mad!

and that was the end of my life of crime

Valerian · 100+, M

Snitched Many an Ink Pen!
Especially the Black Fine Point Pens at the Government Offices I often went into for work.
That was 10 years ago & I still have some within reach!

Slade · 56-60, M

I lit a candle at the Notre Dame Cathedral in Montreal but didn't donate the dollar

Valerian · 100+, M

@Slade At least you didn't BURN IT DOWN like you did the one in FRANCE!

Slade · 56-60, M

@Valerian That was Homer Simpson's Contracting

Wiseacre · F

As a youngster,I stole money from my mother’s wallet!

TheCoolestCat · 31-35, M

i once broke into someones house and burnt it down

Valerian · 100+, M

@TheCoolestCat Minor, since no one died!
Right?

Notsimilar · 31-35, F

I stole an alarm clock from the dollar general

View 1 more replies »

Valerian · 100+, M

@Notsimilar Well, you needed it!
So you'd be On Time the Next Day to Return/Exchange it
at Walmart for one 3 Times the Price!

Notsimilar · 31-35, F

@SW-User she had to have seen that coming

Valerian · 100+, M

@SW-User I had a slap fight with mine earlier!
I kept tapping his Ears!

[image deleted]
He's Cat Fierceness! ... Claws Win!

romper69 · 51-55, M

I dressed uup as Nancy Pelosi and let Hilary Clinton and some guy have sex with me

Valerian · 100+, M

@romper69 Was Hillary's bigger than the Guy's? 😦

SHREKPage

it's not a war crime if it only happens once

i'm kidding, i'm kidding. I got nothing.

romper69 · 51-55, M

I stole some sweets from the pick and mix when I was a kid...at gunpoint

vetguy1991 · 51-55, M

When I was a child I stole some gum

SW-User

@vetguy1991 They should have locked you up and threw away the key.

Valerian · 100+, M

@vetguy1991 And I'll bet you [i][b]Swallowed[/b][/i] it!
And it's Still Trapped, Stuck to the Side of Your Inflamed Esophagus!

Vivaci

Licked the icing off a birthday cake before it was cut! 😳🎂

QueenOfTheNerds · 41-45, F

Took the blame for a car accident I wasn’t in.

EmoRapid · 26-30, M

I stole soda

Valerian · 100+, M

@EmoRapid Soon you'll be stealing baking soda, soda ash, soda crackers, sodium hydroxyzine, sodium cloride ...

Virgo79 · 61-69, M

Never admit you guilt

This comment is hidden. Show Comment

Valerian · 100+, M

@wildbill83 Excellent!👍🏻

[i]No One Saw a THING! You weren't there.
[/i]
The Drunk slipped on the beer he himself had spilled!

wildbill83 · 36-40, M

@Valerian never went to court of course, besides all the support I got from other patrons and staff; If he had tried to pursue charges, he could have easily been charged with assault on a minor (to which there'd have been plenty of witnesses, including myself, to testify to), which would obviously have carried a far stiffer penalty than mine for giving some drunk an attitude adjustment... 🤔

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