That I was driving down the road today and the sun hit my face…and I saw a hair. On my chin. It had to be 6 inches long. I have no idea where the hell that thing came from 🤷🏻‍♀️

I haven't shaved in a month 😏

Oh No! I'm not falling for THAT again!!!!!

…… i need more wine first

If they don’t need to know, I’m not saying.

I'm not really Elvis.

Nope ain't gonna say it

I used to never have to wipe (besides once just to check) but then I got IBS and now I spend an eternity wiping.

That I'm hung like the old west

My parents were swingers...that isn't about me but close enough.

I swallow

Almost everything

Oh boy.

Im.actually boring lol

Sometimes my balls itch

I buy my food from Walmart.

I have an addiction to the feelings of serotonin I get when getting something I want/ need for the people I care about ( usually my son) for free or a great deal so I look at these online dealers everyday like a ridiculous amount of times. 🥸

I still use a Rolodex.

🙋‍♂️🏋‍♂️oops! 💦💨💩🙈 sorry

Rumor has it I eat ass. I have no comment.

I'm a feeder.

🤣
Ask one of the weirdos asking about masturbation, I'm sure they'd love to tell.

My left boob is bigger than my right boob.

I sniff my smegma