I am on the brink of giving up on life

College is getting harder everyday .i am suffering from depression and dissociation disorder and my memory and concentration is failing me so hard . And the fact I am surrounded by the most brilliant and ambitious minds doesn't help much .I want to die so bad or atleast run away from here but i have to support my family and need a job for therapy . I really wish I do not get reborn . human life is extremely painful .